Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Finding Joy In The White Tigers

So it's been a while since I've REALLY posted on here.  I've mostly been making cloth diapers, and keeping busy with whatnot. 

By "whatnot", I mean "my kids".

My b/g twins turned 3 in June.  They are just a joy, my heart, my sweet sweet angels...most of the time.  Lately, though, they're driving me a bit batty.  I don't know if it's because the weather is too cold and wet to go outside and they're tired of being stuck in the house, or what the deal is.  But every two seconds I turn around and one of them is into something.   My son can get past any child lock out there, knock down a baby gate faster than a speeding bullet, and he has this amazing ability to smell out apple juice, no matter where it's hidden. 

His twin sister is much quieter, and born with low tone, she is unable to get into things to the extent that he does.  But she has her moments.  She is the master planner...the one coming up with the ideas that her brother ultimately pulls off.  I can hear her telling him to do things, like "get some cookies", or "draw a circle over dare" (with chalk, on the wall).  She's the one who came up with the idea that if they draw "stripes" on themselves, they will become tigers.  And you know, I don't really mind when they do that, but when they use permanent markers, or draw on the baby, I'm not all that impressed. 

A couple of days ago my daughter was at the grocery store with Daddy, and I was home with The Boy and The Baby.  I was sewing some leg warmers for her while she napped.  "Cat In The Hat" was on, and The Boy was quiet, so I assumed he was in a cartoon coma.  Well I was wrong.  Even though he had been no farther than 10 feet from me, I turned around and found him covered in butt cream (we bought it and never used it, so the container was brand new!).  It was on his face, hair, arms, hands, legs...  I looked at him and said "What did you do?!"  He looks at me smiling, and with that matter of fact way he has of speaking, said, "I'm a white tiger."  LMAO!  For someone so very very loud, he was SILENT when he was putting that cream on himself!!

I couldn't be mad.  I could (and did), however, take him right upstairs to the tub.  He spent 45 minutes playing in the bath before I could talk him into getting out.  He normally has to share the tub with his sisters, and for once, got to be in there alone.  He was so happy!

Of course there was water on the floor.  (Wherever The Boy is, there is sure to be a big water mess.)  Of course I got soaked.  But seeing him playing kind of put everything back into perspective.  He's only a little boy.  And he IS going to act his age.  I preach it, and I say it all the time.  But sometimes I need to remind MYSELF of it.

Watching him playing in the tub really got to me.  I've had a tough week emotionally speaking, and add to that my three children that never stop moving from the time they open their eyes, until the second they fall asleep at night.  I have to wash two huge bins of baby clothes to (hopefully) sell at a mom-2-mom sale on Saturday.  I have to clean my whole house so it's perfect when my mom comes on Friday to help me at the sale.  I have been trying to make sure that this amber necklace contest goes off without a hitch, and thankfully now I think I'm only a couple of days from having that off of my list of things to do.  And I want to make up some cloth diapers to take with me to the mom-2-mom sale, in case anyone wants to order some from me in the future...I have a big plate, and tons of stuff seems to pile up on it.  I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed, and a bit alone in it all.  My patience have been pretty thin, and it seems like every time I turn around, there's someone else adding things to my heaping plate...as though they don't realize I'm already drowning here!

The time I spent sitting on the lid of the toilet watching my beautiful boy playing with his cars, listening to him chatter about how his red car was dirty and he was going to use bubbles to wash it so he could drive it to Daddy's work to pick him up...I had a moment of realization.  This was not only the life I made for myself, but one I would fight to keep.  This is exactly where I would choose to be.

I ended up spending the rest of that night with the three kids in my room, snuggled on the bed watching cartoons and reading book after book (Dr.Seuss, of course!).  I just needed some time to be close to them and enjoy them.  In the chaos that is our day to day life, I need these quiet moments as much as they do.

When the twins go to bed, that's my time with JUST The Baby, and I take full advantage of the snuggles.  She is such a sweet little thing...she holds her foot when she's nursing, and I can sing her little song to her.  She likes it because her name is repeated in it over and over.  Our quiet time never lasts long enough, though.  She falls asleep on my boob in only a few minutes.  It's those moments, when the house is quiet, that I can recharge.  I don't think I get enough of that.  I don't think I'm alone in that, either.  I think good parenting, and patience, kind words, come from a place of appreciation.  I think that sometimes the world goes by so fast, and we have so much to do in such a short time, that we sometimes forget to enjoy the ride...find the humor in our lives, and find laughter and joy in the white tigers.

This could not be more true.  xoxo

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