Wednesday, March 14, 2012

IUDs...I Wish I Didn't Know.

A copper, and Mirena IUD.
Okay, again, short and sweet (as short and sweet as they get around here).  I don't want to get into a big debate on birth control, because I think if you don't want a baby, you need to prevent pregnancy.  I'd rather see you prevent a birth than to end a life.  (I'll get into my whole stand on that in another post when I'm not so tired, and can provide links, etc.)

For now, lets just talk about IUDs.

Here is a link to the Wikipedia description.

So there are two different kinds.  I honestly didn't even know they still did the copper wire ones...I live on the moon, I think.  But I have seen it mentioned on Facebook in some mommy groups recently.  (Which is what sparked all of this.)

Okay.  So when my twins were born, they were in the NICU.  I'm sure if you also don't live on the moon, you know that already.  Anyway, when they were 6 weeks old, I went for my check-up with my (super hot) OB...Dr. Gregg Hancock...(shout out for him here because he's [overall] pretty awesome).

So...after a short break thinking about him, I'm back to the topic at hand.  LOL  IUDs.  So, I went to my appt. with him, and because I'd just had twins (I assume), he asked me if I was planning on using birth control until we were ready for more children.  I said I'd considered it, but hadn't really looked into it too much because I was SOOOOO not ready to start having relations with my husband again.  He suggested an IUD.

Now, let me just say here that the only time I'd ever even heard of an IUD was in grade six sex ed.  Seriously.  I may not only live on the moon now, but clearly was born and raised there.  LOL
He told me that an IUD is "as good as getting your tubes tied, but easily reversible."  He said [TMI WARNING] I stopped bleeding, he'd put one in, in his office, and it'd be a small pinch and that would be that.

Super.  Small pinch.  This...from the same guy who told me that the dye he was injecting into my fallopian tubes would be a "small pinch".  0_0  Not quite, buddy.  (One word to describe that?  HOLY F*CK!!)  Well, because of what I faintly remembered from grade six, and the "slight pinch" description from him...I asked the kids' primary nurse what her opinion was on IUDs.  And, at first, she didn't want to tell me anything.  She said "I don't know much about them."
I knew she was holding back!!!
When the other nurse in the NPCU (Neo-Natal Progressive Care Unit) left for lunch, she told me what she knew.

She told me that in the 35 years of working in the same NICU, she'd seen no less than five babies born with problems associated with them.  Their mothers had gotten pregnant while wearing one, and that four were born with limbs (or partial hands, or feet) missing because they'd been CUT OFF by the copper wires.  She said that they don't bleed to death because of how they're rubs the same spot over and over, and as they grow and run out of space, the wires get tighter against them, and they just sever the body part they're up against.
And then there's the fifth baby...
Brace yourself.
This baby was born with the IUD INSIDE OF IT'S ABDOMEN.  Yeah.  I'm not shitting you.  She told me that it had formed right around the IUD (so in this case, whether those wires are plastic or could happen).  Immediately after birth, she said it had to be whisked away to surgery to try to remove it.  She said that while it was inside of it's momma, it was safe from infection.  As soon as it was delivered, the chance of infection increased.  And obviously, it's not okay to live your life with an IUD sticking half way out of your belly.
She ended this by telling me that there are worse things in life than being pregnant.  And clearly, she was right.

I never got one.  That's the moral of this story.  I also never got pregnant until we put some serious effort into trying...when the twins were 20 months old.  And when we did try, it took a month.  So one day when I'm more on my game, I'll tell you why THAT is a dramatic story too.  LOL your research.  That's all I'm saying.

And, in conclusion, I leave you this one link that was posted by Guggie on her wall...(she just can't help herself...LMAO!)

Mirena Crash: The Mirena IUD Side Effects After Removal

Thank you for reading.  I'm sorry if I scarred you.  (We're in the same boat now, I guess.) 

Saturday, March 10, 2012

My View On Religion(s)

I'm going to keep it short and sweet because there's not much to say.  I just feel like maybe I should explain myself, and my view of religion, just incase my last post rubbed anyone the wrong way.  I think once you hear it, you'll understand.

First, if you believe in God (or whatever you may call Him/Her/Them/It), I'm happy for you.  I believe in God, but maybe not the way other people do?  I don't know.  I haven't posted a poll to find out.  I just know that my idea of what God is, is different than some other people who also believe.

I believe that God is loving and forgiving.  Fire and brimstone are not in my view of it.  In my view, God wants to forgive whatever it is that people do that is (according to religion as a whole) not so great.  So my kids aren't taught about God punishing for being "bad".  They're taught about love.  Because to me, that's the main point.  (They're little, and I think they only need the basics at this point.)  If you choose to believe God is scary, that's just fine with me.

I believe that the Bible is a book of stories.  It's been passed down through generations, and translated several times, and altered several times.  I think it's a great way to learn the stories, but I'm not going to be stoning my kids for being "stubborn and unruly".  It's what kids do, and stoning is somewhat frowned upon.  If you believe the Bible is something written to be taken literally and it's in original form, I'm glad for you.

I believe that it's things like hating homosexuals that turn people against religion.  I think that's ridiculous since these people slinging hate around like it's a lasso are also people breaking one of those rules about NOT JUDGING PEOPLE.  Keep those stones in your pocket when you're living in a glass house.  Basically, unless you are perfect...which I'm preeeeeeetty sure no one is, you don't get to go around hating on people for LOVING someone.  Who GAF what their genitals look like.  You don't get to stand in your sin and point the finger at someone you feel is sinning.  Period.  (BTW, MY God created us all...and I could go into a big rant, but I won't.  I'm climbing down off my soap box.  I'll just say that those rocks are heavy.  Put them down.)  If you hate someone for loving someone you don't think they should love...well...I say this;  Don't believe in gay marriage?  Don't get one.

I also believe that whether you believe in God, or pray to some Goddess, or practice Wicca, or whatever you do, as long as what you're doing is working for you, GIVE 'ER.  Seriously.  I almost never speak about my beliefs because they really aren't relevant.  Really.  Whether I believe in God, or don't, it doesn't make me a better or worse person.  Because I choose my actions.  I was given this very handy thing...I like to keep it inside my skull to keep my half-wit cat from licking's called a brain.  And I REALLY like using it.  And because I own one, I don't get to claim that my actions are caused by my religion...even if they're influenced by religion, they are, in the end, mine alone to make.  I have known many a good person who is Christian, I know (very!) good people who are Muslim, I know very good people who have no religious beliefs at all, and I know some very good people who are even beyond that...more than atheist...they fall into their own category, I think.  More along the lines of anti-religion.  And you know, respect for eachother goes way beyond religious beliefs (or the lack thereof).

I don't hate anyone for their religious beliefs (or, again, their lack thereof).  Really.  Like, the guy we bought our house from is some high guy with the Jehovah's witness.  Awesome.
He told me lots about it, and I'm sure I'm going to hear lots more.  Super.  Really.  I like hearing about other people's religions...I like to know what makes people tick.  And he doesn't just believe it...he lives it.  And really, whatever you believe, I like it when I see people living it happily.  It's nice to see people happy with the choices they've made.  Seeing happiness is good for my matter what form it comes in.  Be happy!!

My ONLY problem is when someone uses their religion as an excuse to steal the rights from other in circumcision.  Your religious right ends where another person's body begins.  Simple.  Keep your hands on your own genitals, and we'll all get along just fine.

So yeah.  Pray to whomever you love to pray to.  Or don't.  Either way.  LOL  Really, it doesn't matter to me in the least bit.  Your religious choices affect me the same way it would affect me if I was on a diet, and you ate a cookie.  Not one bit.  And mine...same thing.  I believe in respecting each other's right to religion, beliefs, lifestyle, etc.  That's what matters in the end, right?

*In conclusion, if I offended you by saying "lack thereof", or whatever...I'm sorry.  My intention was not to offend, only to explain.  If you don't agree with being tolerant to other religions, that's great for YOU.  I choose to treat other people the way I'd want to be treated...not because it's in the Bible, but because I live in the real world and expect to be treated well.
And, if you feel the need to go all crazy and freak out because of anything I wrote here, JUST DO IT.  You might make yourself look like a nut, but you'll feel better for a minute...LOL...and that's what matters.  

THE END.  ; )

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Shit That Pisses Me Off...Being Nice.

If you know me, you know I'm very "nice".  I try to do for other people what I'd want done to me if I was in their shoes.  I try to consider people's feelings, and pretty much only expect the same thing in return.  


What pisses me off about being nice is when I find myself being nice ONLY because I'd want the same done to me if I was that other person.  Not because they really deserve it...and sometimes even when they clearly do not.

I end up on the phone with people from Bell Canada (phone/satellite company we use) for 45 minutes when the phone call should have taken no more than 5 minutes at the most.  Why?  Oh, because I'm NICE.  The guy on the other end wanted to talk to me about his favorite show, and I listened.  I told him it sounded interesting.  (It did SO not sound like my cup of was called "Operation".  Gag.)  The moral of the story, he ended that call happy as a pig in shit.  I'm glad someone enjoyed our time together.  LOL

And when we get one of the calls we get about twice a week; "Hello?  Can I please speak to the manager?"
I tell them nicely that we are a HOME, not a BUSINESS, and most of the time they apologize and take my name off of whatever list it is that they have in front of them.  Most of the time.

...But not all the time.

Like that time a man called and I told him the exact same thing I've told a hundred people before him (and since him)...we're a home...a family...not a business.
He apologized and explained to me that our phone number was on a callers list for businesses...under the name "China Delight".
Lovely.  We're a Chinese restaurant, apparently.  (That restaurant actually burnt to the ground about three years ago, if not longer.)
I'm glad he took the time to explain why people were calling here, speaking Mandarin, and asking to speak to someone else who spoke Mandarin too.
Anyway, I thought that was the end of the call.

Buddy called back about 20 minutes later.  He told me that he was calling on his own "personal" time, and had enjoyed speaking with me earlier.  He said he wanted to ask me a question.
I just said "okaaaaay...".

He said, "Can I ask you a question?"
At this point I'd regained my senses, and said "I don't think I even want to know what your question is, so I'm going to go with NO."
He asked again.  "Can I ask you a question?"
Me:  "No.  I don't think so."
He spent five minutes telling me how nice I am, and how I have such a nice voice, and told me about ten times how much he'd love to ask his question.
By this point I was annoyed...but still being NICE.
I told him that I had to make the twins their lunch, so I had to say goodbye.  He asked if he could call me again some time.  I told him that I'm normally too busy to answer the phone, so he probably wouldn't get me. With that he finally said goodbye.

I wish I could travel back in time and tell him to be a professional, and to get a life.  But I probably would just end up on the phone with him again...listening to the same crap I listened to the first time.

And my nice-ness doesn't just extend to people trying to sell me something.  It also is given to people I'm trying to sell something some of my baby clothing stash.

Like the guy who called to ask how much I wanted for a pair of baby boots.  They were super soft, and only worn once, and I'd ordered them off of eBay for about $12.  I told him I'd sell them for $5 if he picked them up.  He asked what other items I I gave him a summary...NB girls clothing, or anything for boys from NB to 2T.  I told him that as our youngest outgrew the girls' clothing, they'd be for sale as well.  I (stupidly) told him that I had twins the first time, so we have a butt load of clothes to get rid of.
He told me he has b/g twins too...and then went on to tell me he's a SAHD.  He told me that the clothes were going to be a donation, so he didn't want to spend much.  He SOUNDED nice, so I told him I'd give him a deal if he picked a bunch of things.
He decided to go on and tell me about his twins, and his wife, and he told me she worked a lot.
He told me about taking the kids to the park, and how the women hit on him.
>My red-flag was up here.<
He went on to tell me that the women in  his neighborhood were "too close for comfort", but felt he needed a "special friend".  He told me that I sounded nice, and that he'd love to meet me.  He told me that he thinks every marriage needs a "special friend" to keep it going...

I told him that the kids needed me, and I had to let him go.  I told him I'd email him and we could arrange for him to pick up his items.  Then I hung up.

Okay.  So he (probably)wasn't Tom Cruise.
But Tom Cruise is creepy as!
I swear, I nearly cried.  What a DICK that guy was!!!  I couldn't believe he'd even suggest that...he doesn't even KNOW me!!!  I was losing it, so I ran to the computer and took down all the selling ads I'd put up on Kijiji (our local online selling group...kind of like Craig's List).  I was so upset I called my mom.  And really, she's the LAST person I normally go to in this kind of situation...but I was losing it.

She actually told me what I needed to hear...pull your head out of your ass and tell that guy to take a hike.  Funny enough, he beeped in as I was on the phone with her.  I told her to wait, and I answered the beep.

He said "It's just me, I need your address."

I told him that I wasn't going to be giving it to him, and that I was sorry, but if he was to come here, my husband would rip him a new asshole.  I advised him to find someone else to buy items from.  He apologized (I could hear his wife in the background!!), and told me he won't bother me again.  And thankfully, I haven't heard from him.

Really though, wtf, right?!  I said I was SORRY that I couldn't sell him things, when in fact he scared the shit right out of me.  I was home alone with three kids that night, and the idea of some creepy guy coming to my door...terrifying.

Oh...and you'd think that after these incidents I'd learn to just be a little more assertive, and stop worrying about people not thinking I'm nice...  But nooooo...

Today I ended up on the phone with the man who's house we bought.  He's a Jehovah's Witness.  No biggie, right?  Yeah, right.  I was on the phone with him for 37 minutes...five were in regards to two mattresses he wanted to give away, and I gave him the numbers of two women who wanted them.  The rest of the time he was telling me about his religious beliefs.
He's a nice guy...he means well.  I don't doubt that one bit.  And I love that he loves his religion.  Really.  It's nice to see someone who is living well, and who is HAPPY living their religion.  I love that they are so into it, and that they love it so much they just want to share that joy with everyone they meet.  Even when it comes in the form of ministering to whomever is close enough to hear them.
But seriously.  I have things to do.  And yes, I think he's a nice man, but when he told me that he's going to have to come and see me and "discuss further" the beliefs he holds, I realized that once again, niceness bit me in the ass.  He knows where I'm going to be living.  Forever.

It's become very clear that being nice does not always serve me well.  Sometimes there are going to be those times that being nice is really just being a wimp...and I need to step up and make that choice to be nice to the people that DESERVE it.  And, when the need arises, I need to stop being a wuss and tell people how I feel.

I'll tell you...the NEXT person that calls here and makes me uncomfortable, or the next time I find myself humoring some telemarketer, I'm going to remember writing this post and tell that person that I have better things to do than deal with their shit.  And then I'm going to hang up.  Because being nice for the sake of being nice, even when the person on the other end of that phone does not deserve my kindness, is straight up BS.  And I'm not going to let it piss me off anymore!!!

This post is a reminder to myself that it's just fine to bitch about something, but then the next step is to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.  Change it.

"You're not a tree.  If there's something in your life you don't like, change it."
~Arden Park Hotel sign wisdom.