Thursday, November 24, 2011
I've Had A Realization
Life is one of those things that just take us by surprise. That's how it goes. If we knew what was coming, we'd probably all live our lives a little differently, and really take the time to enjoy those little moments.
I wish we could know what was around the corner. I wish we could have a heads up.
Our family has had some very hard times this past week, and they're not over yet. And I've found myself realizing that the things I obsess over...like laundry, and making sure the cups are lined up in the cupboard in rows with the other cups the same size...those things don't matter. They waste energy, they waste time. Obviously I'm still going to have to do laundry, but I'm not going to be so anal about it anymore. If the kids want to "help" me put their clothes away, I'm going to let them. Even if that means they're not going to be folded. Even if that means they're not in the right drawer. It's okay. Those times we can spend together are the ones that matter.
And over the last week, I've done a lot of thinking about forgiveness. I've spent a lot of time in my life being angry at the people who have hurt me, and holding onto grudges. Well, sometimes life throws us one of it's special surprises and we find out we don't have time to accept that apology...we should have spent that time together, instead of being angry and spending it apart.
I'm lucky enough that the person who taught me this lesson with their sudden departure was not someone I held grudges with. But what if it had of been someone else?
I'm hugging my kids tighter, I'm loving the people around me more fully, and giving them all more attention. Because I don't want to be remembered as someone who spent all of their time on the computer...missing the things that really matter. I don't want my children's most vivid memories of me to be the back of my head as I sit typing at my keyboard. So I've disabled my Facebook account and have chosen to live in the world HERE, and not in the world of my computer screen. We don't have enough time here as it is, and to waste it inside of the computer...it's too much.
I don't know how long anyone has, and we've had some very scary moments here in the last week too. (When it rains it pours.) And my family need me here, in their lives, right now. Not in five minutes after I've read all the new statuses.
Anyways, I'm kind of rambling. I haven't had much sleep...three sick kids, and the longest week of my life. But I wanted to write something to remind people that we don't get enough time here...no matter how much time we do get, it's not enough. So turn off your computer and go and be with your family. You can't get this time back. Once it's gone, it's gone.
I'll post when I get a chance, but my priority is now where it should have been all along. Here. And I am going to make the rest of my time here count.