Homeschooling Sadness

That's all I want!!!

I'm sad.  Very sad.  And I am NOT going to get over it.  I want to homeschool my kids.  I want them at home.  I want them here, with me, safe.  I want them to have one teacher for the three of them, not one teacher for 25 students.  I want them to stay nieve.  I want them to see the world the way I've taught them about it.  I want them to never have to tell another child that they aren't allowed to play "shooting games".  I don't want them to have to be put in a position of either playing along, or being alone.  I don't want them hearing about things like parents being mean, or about sex.  Seriously.  It bothers me to no end to think that my kids are going to be put in a position where they're going to have to act like they're adults (when they aren't!) and say no to a situation that may come up.  I have to depend on them behaving like they're much older than they are...and I don't live in a world of make-believe...I know that children are going to act like children.

Maybe that's not why other people homeschool.  I don't know.  Maybe people homeschool because they don't vaccinate and their kids can't go unless they are up to date on vaccinations.  Here, in Canada, it's illegal to deny a child an education based on vaccination status.  They have the right to an education.  No matter what.  I'm not worried about my un-vaxxed kids being at school...they will remain that way.

I know some people homeschool because they want their child taught according to their religious beliefs.  They want their child brought up learning their views, without outside influence.  And that's just so great for them.  But I'm also not worried about that.  I'm United, and it's pretty lenient on...well, pretty much everything.  I was raised United, and was openly allowed to question what I was told, and to look at other religions to see what I thought.  After many years of not going to church, I've taken my own children to a United church in our city a few times.  I'm not worried that they will grow up not understanding our religious beliefs.

I'm sure that some people also homeschool because they have special-needs children and refuse to drug them.  And I understand that completely.  I have never had my children tested for having Sensory Processing Disorder, but have taken a few online tests, and the twins both have areas that they hit every single one of the items on the list.  I know they have it.  And truthfully, if either of my children ever have an issue in school that results in a teacher (or the school board) recommend I drug them in ANY way, I'd pull my kids from school in a heartbeat.  They can kiss my ass.  No way.  If I can manage to peacefully parent three children, two of whom have SPD and KNOW they don't need to be drugged, there's no person on this planet that would convince me of that.
Still, that's not the reason I want them here.

I'm sure that being in a mainstream school will be good for them socially...meaning I know they'll get time to play with other children.  I don't have any disillusionment when it comes to knowing the difference between "playing with other children", and "social skills".  I know they get "social skills" every single day, from interacting with the people around them...with me, with my husband, with each other...

I'm sure they'll get to have a lot of fun doing things like painting, or going on school trips.  But they paint here. At home.  And we take trips to places all the time.  We have the most fun with them when we take them out.  And the idea of them going on a trip without me...UGH!  I'm terrified.

I don't know if every parent goes through this before their kids start school.  I'm sure not everyone does.  I know that there are more than a few parents that look forward to their children being out of the house so they can have "me time".

I don't even WANT "me time".  I don't only not WANT it...I HATE IT.

I know I sounded like a child there...but I don't really care.  I hate the idea of them not being here.  I hate the idea of them being away from me from 9am until 3pm every-other day.  I hate it.  And that's the nicest way I can even come up with to say how I feel.  My heart hurts just thinking about it.

Maybe I'm being crazy.  I don't know.

What I do know...
I know that I had those twins after carrying them for 30 weeks.
I know that I had to watch them fight to live.
I know that I had to visit them every day for 8 1/2 weeks in the NICU, and every second of it was worse than any nightmare I've ever had.
I know that there isn't a soul on this earth that I love more than my children.
I know that I'm afraid of what will happen when I'm not there to keep them safe.
I know that my son is a daredevil...that he needs a constant eye on him to keep him from getting hurt...and that more than once I've saved him from getting killed.
I know that my daughter is sensitive...that things upset her because she is such a kind soul.  And I won't be there to comfort her when she cries.
I know that even the bus ride to school is going to be something I worry about...what if...
I know that if anything ever happened to one of my children at school, or because of going to school, I would never again be the same person I am now.  I would be broken.

Maybe these are the words of a "new mom"...even though they are 3 1/2, I have very little experience.  I'm going on what I know, what I've learned, and instinct.  And I know my instinct says to keep them at home.

And I don't want to throw my husband under the bus here...but...it really is him that is making all of this happen.  It's him who wants them in school.  It's him who has INSISTED that they go.  And it's very clear that the only way that they're staying home is if I was to divorce my husband.  He is that serious.  He is not going to give in.  And it kills me to give in on this.  But I have to think that my children having both of their parents under one roof is more important than my COMPLETE AND OVERWHELMING TERROR of them going to school.  I have to put their needs before my own...even when it makes my heart hurt.  Because my husband is ultimately a good man.  He just thinks about things differently than I do...and he HAS given in on a lot of things that he really felt strongly about because I was willing to divorce HIM to protect my children;
He wanted them vaccinated and I said no.  I told him that if I had to, I'd leave and take the kids to keep them safe.  I had to protect them...no matter what.
He wanted my son circumcised, and I said no.  I told him that I'd either A) kill him, or B) divorce him, if he had our boy circumcised against my wishes.
He wanted me to use the hormone cream on Baby Girl's labial adhesion because "the Dr. wouldn't give it to her if she didn't need it", and I refused...and it fixed itself!
He wanted Ooie's ears pierced.  I said no way.  She has no piercings.
He wanted the baby in a crib.  I said no.  She's 14 months...sleeping in our bed.  Shes never slept in a crib.
He told me to wean our son at a year old.  At 22 months I weaned him because of a high-risk pregnancy.

He's a fantastic PERSON and always means well, but he has never done a single second of research.  For that reason I feel like I should get to make the major decisions...I'm the one with the facts, right?!  If he did some research and found something different than I did, I'd have to consider his opinion on these things valid.  But he hasn't.

He doesn't get it.  He thinks I'm being crazy.  He thinks my research has made me nuts.  And maybe it has.  Maybe I know too much.  Maybe I'm to the point that learning has made my life something I take too seriously.  But how can I get past the fact that I feel like I'm giving in on a major thing...something that could ultimately change them forever?!  I want them to stay the children I've raised them to be.  I don't think that's too much to ask for!!!

I need to go and eat some chocolate.  I only have seven months left with my children staying home everyday.  The idea of that is just too much for me right now.  : (

This looks like TORTURE to me!

Canadian Children Do NOT Need To Be Vaccinated To Attend School

There are a lot of straight up lies passed around regarding this subject, so let me set the record straight. It is against the charter of rights and freedoms. The truth is that all children have a right to an education, regardless of their vaccination status. The following information was found after searching for 20 mins. on the Ontario Ministry Of Health And Long-Term Care website. You can find the page HERE.  (It's been moved to HERE.)

I feel as though this information is hidden from the general public in an attempt to make parents feel as though they HAVE to have their children immunized. It's just not right. If you choose not to vaccinate your children, you shouldn't be afraid that they will be kicked out of school for it.

Ontario, NB, and Manitoba require an "Exemption Form", which is available at your local Health Unit. I'm not sure about NB or Manitoba, but in Ontario it needs to be notarized and then returned to the Health Unit where it will be kept on file. If your child's school has an outbreak of a disease--such as measles, your child will be asked to stay home until the outbreak is over. (Personally, I don't want my kids at school when everyone else has measles anyways...LOL.) I have yet to pick up our exemption forms since my kids are still 2 years from going to school, but what I was told is that the Health Unit has a nasty problem of "losing" the exemption forms, so keep a copy of one handy just in case the school requires it for some reason. It could be what keeps your child in school until you can have another one notarized.

Don't let your school tell you that your child cannot attend unless they are fully vaccinated. That is nothing more than a scare tactic to get you to join the herd. It is illegal for them to expel your child for not being vaccinated, so long as you have an exemption form filled out and turned in.

For the record, other than the three listed above, no other province and/or territory in Canada requires an exemption form. You simply tell the school that your child is not vaccinated, and they keep a record of it at the school, and if there is an outbreak, your child is asked to remain at home until it's over.

Is immunization required for attendance at school or day care in Ontario?
(Taken from http://www.health.gov.on.ca/english/public/pub/immun/immunization.html )

"For children attending school in Ontario, a written immunization record or proof of immunization is required, by law, for diphtheria, tetanus, polio, measles, mumps and rubella unless there is a valid written exemption. Parents/guardians are required to provide this information to their local public health unit, and to update the information as necessary.

Children attending licensed childcare centres should be immunized according to their age and as recommended in the Publicly Funded Immunization Schedules for Ontario - 2009 or as current. You may contact your local public health unit for more information.

You may decide because of medical, religious or philosophical reasons not to immunize your child. In this case, you will need to provide a valid written exemption to your local public health unit. If the disease appears in your child's school or childcare centre, your child may have to stay out of school/childcare until the disease is no longer present."


I sent an email to the Ontario Ministry of Health and Long-Term Care and asked why this information is not readily available to the public. I asked why it's so hard to find...I've found it once before and when I searched again for it, it took me 20 mins., and 13 steps to find it...and I knew exactly what I was looking for. I also asked if a Doctor has the right to refuse to keep a patient (or their children) if they are not vaccinated, or if they fill out an exemption form. I was sent this:


Ministry of Health
and Long-Term Care
Correspondence Services
2nd Floor
56 Wellesley Street West
Toronto ON M5S 2S3


HLTC2966MC-2010-10281

Dear Ms. XXXXXX:
Thank you for your letter to the Ministry of Health and Long-Term Care, expressing concerns that the Health Canada website could mislead parents into believing that their child had to be vaccinated in order to go to school.

In Ontario vaccines are available, at no cost to the general public, through publicly funded immunization programs. All Ontarians are encouraged to access vaccine through the publicly funded programs, through which provincial laws protect the right to informed consent. The statement you have noted from the Health Canada website “…your child may not be allowed to attend school without proof of immunization…” is a true statement for the province of Ontario. The single, mandatory component to attend school in Ontario is to declare your child’s immunization status according to the Immunization of School Pupils Act (ISPA)


The purpose of the Immunization of School Pupils Act (ISPA) is to protect children against the six diseases designated in the Act. The diseases are; Diphtheria, Tetanus, Polio, Measles, Mumps and Rubella. Even under the ISPA, people that choose not to be immunized can complete and submit a statement of conscience or a religious belief affidavit to the relevant health authority, thereby allowing parents the ability to opt out of immunization for their children.


However, please be aware that, in the event of a vaccine preventable disease outbreak at a school, immunized children that are susceptible to the outbreak may be excluded from school by the Medical Officer of Health for that jurisdiction for the duration of the outbreak.


The medical exemption form and the statement of conscious or religious belief forms are attached to the ISPA and are located on page 2 and 3 of the Act. If you wish, you may access this information and the form via the Internet through the Service Ontario E-Laws site that is located at http://www.e-laws.gov.on.ca. For your convenience the specific information for Ontario that you have requested is located at the following link:

-2-

http://www.search.e-laws.gov.on.ca/en/isysquery/bbacc18d-87ec-4129-9a7a-eb397fe67d7d/1/doc/?search=browseStatutes&context=#hit1

The ministry is not aware of any laws in Ontario or Canada that allow physicians to refuse services to children that are not vaccinated. You may wish to contact the College of Physicians and Surgeons of Ontario for information on the college’s interpretation on the acceptability of such a refusal of service. The CPSO may be contacted at, feedback@cpso.on.ca

Again, thank you for bringing your concerns to the attention of the Ministry of Health and Long-Term Care.

Sincerely,


M. MacPhail
Correspondence Services
Ministry of Health and Long-Term Care

This is all great and dandy, but he really did just completely avoid the entire question about why it is so hard to find the information. Maybe he can't answer because of his job? Or maybe he can't say "because if we made it easier to find that information, people would know and not vaccinate."

Either way, they're being less than transparent with their information. Am I all that surprised? Not so much. At least now you know. It's never to late to stop vaccinating, or researching this information for yourself.

**Update: Aug., 2012**

The information from the first link I provided can no longer be found there.  The second link I posted goes to  the "Public Health Agency of Canada" website.  (Again, you can find the page HERE.)

The information on that site says this;

"Is immunization compulsory in Canada? Does my child have to be immunized?

Answer:

Immunization is not compulsory or "forced" in Canada, but we do have regulations that help ensure that as many people as possible are protected by vaccines from the diseases they prevent. Some provinces require certain vaccines to be given before a child can enter school, but these are not mandatory in the usual sense of the term. Rather, parents (or children, if they are old enough to give consent) are required to declare a choice of whether to have their child (or themselves) immunized or not. If they choose not to, the child may be told that he or she must stay home from school if there is an outbreak of disease. This rule is designed to keep unimmunized children from getting sick and to keep the outbreak from spreading. School entry regulations also give parents an opportunity to bring their child's immunizations up to date. Health care workers may also be required to have certain vaccinations, such as hepatitis B vaccine and an annual 'flu shot. If they refuse, they may be required to stay away from work during an outbreak. This practice protects their patients, who could be in grave danger if they became ill with a communicable disease."

********

I'm going to give it to you straight. Your children depend on you to keep them alive. If you know NOTHING and only follow the herd, you might as well not have kids. You MUST know what the hell you're talking about when it comes to their health. You MUST be educated on what is in the vaccines, what they do, how well they work, what can happen, the adverse effects, the diseases, how they present themselves, how to prevent them, what they can do, and how to cure them. You need to know about the immune system and how vaccines can damage it. You need to know how to make it strong, so it can naturally fight off disease...you can't stop vaccinating and just leave your child eating trans-fat filled garbage.  Your job is to know what you're doing.  What the risks on either side are.  And then you need to make a choice.

Educate before you vaccinate. If you're reading this you have access to the internet. Use it for something more than a place to gossip about your MIL. Research. Your children's lives depend on it!

For some fantastic information go to DrTenpenny.com (or find her page on Facebook), Proud Parents of Unvaccinated Children (website) or (Facebook), VAERS, or look at the information on the Health Canada, CDC, and FDA websites. If you search for FACTS and not their biased opinions, you'll be terrified. Also, ask for the "package insert" that comes with EVERY vaccine. Take it home and look up the ingredients online. And read what it says can happen after vaccination.