Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Getting To Know Me...The Person Behind "Know Better, Do Better".

So for a long time I' opinions on this blog.  I've done it because my intentions for my blog and my FB page are not to hurt anyone more than they've been hurt all ready.  I fully believe we all really DO do the very best we can with the information we have at the time.  I believe no one intentionally makes mistakes, and that it's part of living and part of growing and part of raising children.  There's no actual handbook with all the answers in it.  It just doesn't exist, and it couldn't exist because there are different ways to do, growing, raising children.  And it's not all black and white.  I know that some people who follow this blog, and who follow the FB page are carrying the burden of guilt with them.  My intentions are not to hurt, but to help, and it's been that way from the start.


I am someone who has STRONG opinions, which I'm more than willing to share with anyone who feels the need to share their opinion with me.  That's the thing.  If you get to have your say, I get to have mine.  And sometimes mine is riddled with curse words.  But it's because I'm passionate about the things I speak of.  I can't promise I won't use a curse word from time to time.  I trust that you can handle it.

I'm going to post more about circumcision, and the insanity that it is.  I'm going to give my two cents on things I read online.  I'm going to talk about spanking and CIO.  I'm going to talk about randomness sometimes too.  This blog is about more than mistakes made.  It's about preventing other people from making them too.  A little bit of information can make all the difference sometimes!

I'm going to give my opinion in the buff, without any of the rainbows and butterflies I've feel obligated to include in the past.  Sometimes it might not rub you the right way.  But see, that's another thing.  I feel that since we DO all make mistakes, it is pointless to spend our lives being sorry for not being perfect.  Grief is something we need to work through, not live within.  It can swallow people right up if we let it.  So I don't encourage people to dwell in the darkness, and I can't stand around waiting for people to be ready to move forward before I hit on certain topics.  I'm just going to do it, and if it's too much for you, or you're not at a place in your life where you're ready to hear it, just skip that post.
The whole idea behind "know better, do better" is that we make mistakes.  Of course we do.  But once we know better, we can change the future, and do better.  We need to apologize for the mistakes we made in the past, and touching on something I read yesterday on FB from "Boys Deserve Better", we also need to do what we can to fix our mistakes, and then not make them again.  We do get a free pass for not having all the answers, but when we get the answers, we need to change our approach, change our thinking, change our actions, and DO better.  It's NOT "knowing better and doing the same dumb things again".  I will not ever intentionally hurt someone with anything I post, and if you are hurt by it, please know that it was NOT intentional.  

*This will be the one and only time I'm going to say this, as well.  When I say something someone has done is dumb, or that a choice that was made was ridiculous, or something along those lines, I don't mean YOU are dumb, or that YOU are ridiculous.  You and your choices are two different things.  I don't judge you on the choices you've made in the past, and expect the same in return.  I may judge the action that was taken (circumcision is barbaric and brutal and unnecessary), but I'm not saying you were a horrible person believing that it needed to be done.  No one has all the answers, and because of that, sometimes we do things that later on, we wish we didn't do.

So this is my heads up to you that I'm going to say what is on my mind, without editing my thoughts, and I'm going to go ahead and assume that grown adults can handle it.  I will not "attack" you.  I will not "bash"  you.  But you can bet your ass I'm going to attack and bash misinformation.
I want you to share your opinions too.  This is not just me being authentic.  I want YOU to be authentic with me as well.  I want you to say what's on your mind.  I want you to stop editing your opinions.  I want to hear your heart, and I can't hear it when you're afraid to offend.  Say it.  I'm a big girl, and I can handle it.  
FTR, I will also not sit back and let anyone (including myself) be "attacked" or "bashed" either.  Aim your cannon at ideas, not people.  (My definition of "attacking" and "bashing" is simply direct name calling.  I'm pretty easy to get along with otherwise.)
So yeah.  There it is.  I am going to give you all of me, and I'd like all of you in return.  My honesty and authenticity will show you my heart, and who I am as a person.  
I want you to let me see you too.

It took me a long time to be comfortable in who I am.  To those who stuck around from the start, I thank you.  Being completely authentic in who I am, what I believe, and how I feel, was a process that needed time to happen.  I've spent too much of my life worrying about what other people think of me, and I'm past that now.  I can't worry about whether or not people like me.  Because if they don't like me for who I really am, they don't like me at all.  To me, this is freeing.  I finally, after 34 years, feel like I am comfortable in my own skin, and I want to share it with you.  I was considering just deleting this blog because I don't feel like I was ever able to say what I wanted to say, because I so badly don't want to hurt anyone that I kept a lot of things to myself.  But I have come to realize that the person that you probably think I am is a shell of the person I actually am.  And I'm not deleting the blog because I've done a shit ton of research that I've posted on here and I'm not losing it.  Instead, I'm just going to give you all that I am...the good, the bad, the bitchy-before-coffee.
I'm done walking around on tip toes, worrying about saying something that isn't "right".  I am who I am, and I know that without a doubt, there are some of you who are going to think I'm too outspoken for your personal tastes, and some of you are going to lift your hands up to the sky and say "thank you for saying it!"  LOL  Whatever happens, I'm fine with it.  

Thanks to all who took the time to read this, and don't forget what I said.  I want some of you in return.  



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