Sunday, July 21, 2013

This Shouldn't Be A Battle

Snatched this photo from HERE.
The thing is, they're new here.  It's not supposed to be Me Vs. Them.  I'm supposed to be guiding and teaching, not punishing and fighting.  They're new here.  They're not tiny adults.  They're children.  My five year old twins have only been able to even understand wtf is going on around them for a couple of years now, and are still developmentally unable to appreciate when I say not to do something in one scenario that it means ANY scenario similar to that one.  I don't EXPECT them to behave like they're adults.  My JOB is to be there to teach them.  I have no right to be angry when they don't immediately see the big picture.  They're five!  The "big picture" to them is a fraction of the ACTUAL big picture.  Life, to them, is still what is happening directly to them at that exact moment.  They are unable to predict the  outcome of their actions...they're 10-12 years away from even developing that part of their brains.

As I see it, being a child is very much like being at a new job would be for an adult.  If you make a mistake, should they punish you for it, or teach you the right way?  If you think you can get away with doing something in a way you were told not to so things work out in your favor, should they scream at you or hit you for it?  Obviously not.  They would explain to you why you can't do that, and tell you how they want it done, and why.

The difference here lies in the fact that children do need to be told over and over, and they're not trying to make you crazy.  They're NEW here.  They don't have 20 or 30 or 40 years of experience under their belts.  When you have to explain to them four hundred times why they can't climb on the table, you can freak out about it, or you can accept that it is developmentally NORMAL for them to need to be told THAT many times.  One day they'll get it and you won't have to say it anymore.  (Trust me, they don't want you nagging at them all the time either, and when they CAN remember not to climb on the table, they'll stop, simply to avoid hearing you bitch about it again...even though they REALLY don't see the harm in it...)

Why are adults given more understanding than children?

*Sadly I think it's because adults can speak up for themselves and can demand that they are treated better.

Just some food for thought.

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