Living Within Sensory Processing Disorder

 

What is sensory processing disorder?

Children with sensory processing disorder have difficulty processing information from the senses (touch, movement, smell, taste, vision, and hearing) and responding appropriately to that information. These children typically have one or more senses that either over- or underreact to stimulation. Sensory processing disorder can cause problems with a child's development and behaviour.

Who has sensory processing disorder?

Children with autism and other developmental disabilitiesoften have sensory processing disorder. But sensory processing disorder can also be associated with premature birth, brain injury, learning disorders, and other conditions.

(Taken from HERE.)

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Anyone else have a child with this?  I have two.  (The twins.)  It's made life interesting, that's for sure.  If you have a child who lives with this, you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about.

Our son's SPD seemed to improve dramatically when we took him off sugar, but it's still there.  Just under the surface, all the time.
Life needs to stay within certain lines for him to cope well.  It's why our morning and nighttime routines never falter.  He's able to do pretty much anything during the day as long as he knows what's coming.  He's not into surprises.  For him not to lose it completely, he needs a lot of notice of an event that is going to take place, and to be reminded of it daily.  On the way to do something, he will ask repeatedly what is going to happen.  He has to know the plan.

If a plan doesn't work out; if we tell him we're going somewhere, and for whatever reason we can't (for example, if the store is closed), all hell breaks loose.  We have to be very careful how we tell him what our plans are.  We make sure that we say, "We're going to TRY to go and..."  Then he knows that there's a chance that it may not happen, even if we are all counting on it.  Sometimes he still acts out even if he knew there was a chance of it not happening, but it's slightly less intense, and can from time to time be avoided completely.  *This is why I spend so much time making sure that stores are open/the park isn't locked/the exact times Santa is at the mall...and so on.*  It's easier to avoid a breakdown than to live through one.

We also cannot tell him that we're going to buy them (the kids) something unless we're standing in front of it and we can see that they can, without a doubt, get it.  (This could be anything from a mango, to a toy.)  Being told he can have something, and then to find it's impossible (they don't have any!), results in a meltdown.  He doesn't know how to handle it, and so he just doesn't.  What we say is going to happen HAS to happen.

What really grinds my gears is that there are people who see his behavior and assume he's "bad", or "spoiled", when in reality it's not at all.  He's SUCH a sweet and kind and wonderful boy, and if we say that we're just going to look at something (like toys), he doesn't freak out if he gets nothing.  Because it wasn't part of the plan anyway.  No biggie.  It hurts me to know that people judge my son, and me, for something he didn't choose to have.  Children with SPD look like everyone else, and there are no obvious markers for people to use to identify it.  I try not to glare back at the people who feel the need to glare at me in a moment when all I really need is an understanding smile (or nothing, you know?  If you can't manage a smile, just do NOTHING.  It's better than glaring at me...or my four year old son!).

The Boy is under-responsive to touch, under-responsive to movement, he has all but three of the sensory seeking behaviors, he has an emotional dysfunction...yet with all of this, it is still dramatically less than the list he had when he was still getting foods with sugar.  (There are entire lists now that he doesn't have any "checks" on, whereas before, every one would have been checked.)  Sugar absolutely aggravated his SPD, and caused his behaviors to be more extreme.

As for our Older Daughter, she is learning to live within it.  Slowly.  
The type my daughter has is the same type I have.  I think of it as a sensitivity to certain things.  (Perhaps because I've lived with it, I don't find it all that "abnormal".)

She's got hypersensitivity to touch, hypersensitivity to movement, poor muscle tone (born with this), hypersensitivity to sound, hypersensitivity to smells.

It's something we noticed with her from the start, though we really thought it was just "preemie" behavior.  But it never went away.  With her, the world needs to be soft and quiet.  And it needs to smell good.  She is the first one to cover her ears, even in a place that no one else really notices the level of noise.  She hates wind.  A drop of water on her shirt sets her off into hysterics.  She's learned to live with the sound of a lawn mower, but used to scream to the point of her face turning purple if she heard one.  She'll avoid foods that every other person in this house likes, because it "smells bad".  (It doesn't smell BAD, it just HAS a smell.)

It isn't always easy with her because her reactions are immediate and can sometimes seem like they're just out of the blue, but like I said before, we share many of the same traits in what we can and cannot handle.  So I get it.  I can look over at her and know when something is making her anxious just by looking at the profile of her face, because it's making me anxious too and I can see her tense jaw and know exactly how she's feeling in that moment.  But, I have no doubt that she'll make it through life without most people ever even noticing it.  Unless someone is actually paying close attention, it's unlikely that they'll notice it.  She's one of the most amazing people I've ever met in my life, and I know that as time goes on she'll learn to adapt even better than she already has.  When someone does notice, it'll be someone who cares about her.  (Most people don't pay enough attention to anyone else to notice that they can't walk in tall grass.  Ever.  Or that they wear a sweater in summer because the breeze makes their skin feel crazy.)

I've found that people are more understanding with Older Daughter, maybe because her type of SPD works better for them.  I think they treat her more kindly because she's "so sensitive", and when she acts out it's because of something like rain, or noise.  The whole thing plays into their idea of her being a helpless, delicate, "poor little girl".  For some reason, the world around us seems to want to treat her like a victim in this, and at the exact same time treat her brother like he's a terror for having the exact same behaviors that are caused by the exact same disorder.  It boggles my mind.  I'm trying to raise her to be independent and strong and to not play OR BE a victim.  I'm trying to raise my son to be sensitive and kind and be proud of the person he is, in a world set on hating men.  So the whole thing just irks me beyond belief.
Way to label them based only on stereotypes, society.  You suck.


If you want to see if you or your child have any of the symptoms, find the checklist HERE.

Here is another, for infants and toddlers.


I think a lot of people have SPD and don't even realize.  And I think a lot of kids have it and no one has ever diagnosed it, or it was mis-diagnosed as something else.  

I know that when I was first pointed in the direction of this information a couple years ago, I finally felt like I wasn't losing my mind...I knew there had been something different about them, I just didn't know WHAT.  Knowing this made all the difference.  Which is why I shared it.

Read more here:
http://www.todaysparent.com/health/kids-safety/sensory-processing-disorder

http://www.spdcanada.org/

https://myhealth.alberta.ca/health/pages/conditions.aspx?hwid=te7831&

http://www.spdfoundation.net/about-sensory-processing-disorder.html

Forgetting That Children Have Rights

Child Camel Jockeys

The trafficking of young children for forced labor is one of the fastest growing areas in international crime. A study by the Ansar Burney Trust found that child trafficking has picked up considerable momentum over the past few years and one of the most disturbing roles these children were being forced into were those of camel jockeys.

The Ansar Burney Trust has for the last 16 years been working to bring to an end the cruel and atrocious act of using innocent young boys as camel jockeys in the Arab world. These children, some as young as 4 years old, are forced to work up to 18 hours a day in the scorching heat of the deserts.

The child who cannot stay awake for the 18 hours of gruelling work is given a “karba” (electric shock), while those who decide to disobey orders or play games are beaten and tortured. Stories of cruelty inflicted on many of the children rescued by Ansar Burney Trust involved them being tied up in chains in the desert heat, beaten with metal rods and leather whips, cut with blades and being raped by their “owners”.

They are deliberately underfed and malnourished to keep their weigh down and allow the camel on which they ride to run faster. Some are fed only three biscuits a day with water, while others are given dirty and unhygienic food – worse than what is fed to the camels. If that does not bring their weight down, they are forced to wear metal helmets to make them bleed and reduce weight that way.

Another reason that very young children are used is the fact that when scared or in pain – they scream; and the louder the child screams in pain the faster the camel to which he is strapped will run.

The children are fastened to the camels with Velcro, but the ride is so rough that many fall and are gravely injured – dying a few days later due to the lack of medical attention or care. Some die on the spot by being crushed under the feet of racing camels and some are even killed by the owners of the camps because they wanted to leave. Those who survive, bare scars of their torment and permanent disabilities.

We estimate that as of last year, there were more than 20,000 children working as camel jockeys all over the Middle East – majority of whom had been smuggled from South Asia and Africa.

A Glimmer of Hope

UAE: In November 2004, Mr. Ansar Burney met with His Highness Sheikh Mohammad bin Zayed Al Nahyan, Crown Prince of Abu Dhabi and Deputy Supreme Commander of the UAE Armed Forces. At the meeting a decision was taken by the UAE leadership to ban the use of underage camel jockeys and enforce the law with a punishment of fine and imprisonment. A centre was established a week later in Abu Dhabi under the authority of Ansar Burney Trust; it has the capacity to house 400 children and provide them with clean food and clothing, a good education, excellent medical treatment and a safe shelter. After 4 months, these children are to be repatriated back to their home countries.

Qatar: In May 2005, the Government of Qatar has announced severe punishments on the use of underage children as camel jockeys and ordered to replace them with robots. The Qatari government and the Ansar Burney Trust plan to establish a centre in Qatar for the treatment and rehabilitation of the children rescued from camps in the country.

Examples to follow: The Ansar Burney Trust is currently in the process of persuading other Middle Eastern countries to follow the example set by Qatar and the UAE; and ban the use of underage children as camel jockeys.

For more information,. please click here

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Amazing from the moment of conception.

I came across this story when I was looking up "Children's Rights".  This is only one of several horrible stories on the same website of the lack of compassion being shown to the world's children.  (Find the website HERE.)

This type of thing just shows that we're living in a world that doesn't understand that children have the exact same rights to freedom, compassion, love, and life, that adults have.  It also shows me just how blessed we are that some of us DO recognize their value and rights.  Children are a gift.  They deserve to be treated as such.  And, as any other gift we're given, they can be taken away.  Having children isn't a right...it's a privilege.
I wanted to make people aware that this shit even exists.  It's easy to live our own lives completely ignorant about these events.  (I sure didn't know about this before today!)
As a whole we need to work together to make people aware of the way children are treated across the globe.  We can peacefully parent our own children, and slowly that is going to make a difference in the world we live in.  But this message...that children are a blessing, and they need protection no matter where they're born, or what their gender...it needs to be shouted from the rooftop!
Children deserve the very best, starting the second they are conceived.  No child should ever have to feel the pain of being circumcised.  No child should ever have to be afraid, to be hurt, to be neglected...
And, if there's one thing I will continue to do as long as I live, it's to stand up for those who cannot speak, and those who's voice is so small that it's easily ignored. "Greatest Love Of All"

I believe the children are our are future 
Teach them well and let them lead the way 
Show them all the beauty they possess inside 
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be 
Everybody searching for a hero 
People need someone to look up to...

Handmade Love

AIO made from a pant leg, and a receiving blanket.

So I've been making cloth diapers.  It's a great way to pass the time, and as soon as I figure out where to buy some diaper covers, we're going to be ROCKIN'.  Until then, I'm just making them, and it seems every 2nd diaper is a step ahead of the one before.  I started with the simple 2pc pocket diaper.  The 3rd diaper had a plastic liner, but still had a pocket for the soaker.  I did make an AIO diaper for a friend, which worked out better than I'd expected.  And I've made a (too small) hidden gusset diaper with a pocket.

Hidden gusset, pocket diaper.

Now I'm working on figuring out how to make an AIO with hidden gusset.  I've found the hidden gusset is kind of a pain in the ass, and it makes the outside material bunch up when you're trying to sew it...I'm telling you, I've never sworn this much.  LOL


I'm also going to be moving on to other things.  Simple things.  Things that can be done in a matter of minutes, since I do enjoy getting immediate results.  I'm talking about making baby leg warmers.  Oh yes.  They look so freakin simple, and after this whole gusset thing, simple sounds just wonderful.

There is a blog with the best tutorial I could ever ask for when it comes to making these.  You can see it HERE.

You can find this blog BY CLICKING HERE.

It's nice to be able to make diapers for my little one.  She deserves only the very best, and if I can make her some nice soft diapers and leg warmers, I'm going to do it.  And the whole thing is inspiring.  If I can make a cloth diaper, I can definitely make her some dresses.  And with the selection at the store downtown, I can make her some warm ones that are going to be WAY cuter than the ones I could buy for her.  And making my own means that I can match her diapers to her dress!  : )  No need for a diaper cover, the diapers are darn cute already!!

This one fit!  Hidden gusset, pocket diaper.

I'm going to go and buy some different materials tomorrow, and see what I can come up with for dresses and diapers.  Then I'm going to stop by the dollar store and buy some socks.  When I'm done, I'm going to have the best dressed baby in town.  LOL  My mother thinks I should be making diapers and selling them...but I'm going to have to figure out how much it would cost me to make them first.  Honestly, with the amount of people making them out there, I'm going to have some serious competition.  And I do have three kids I'd rather spend time with than be stuck behind a sewing machine making diapers on a deadline.  I want to make every one of them with love.  I think the best way to do that is keeping it to one at a time, for my daughter, or for friends who are in need of some homemade diapers.

A Random Moment Of Appreciation

I've been sitting around for days trying to figure out what to post about.  Then, tonight at the grocery store, it happened.  I had the moment. 

See, we took the kids out WAY too late, and they were tired when we left.  Of COURSE they were going to be moody when we got there.  (Common sense, right?)  But considering the time, they did VERY well.  We put the two girls together in one cart, and my son in another.  I pushed the girls, and Daddy pushed our son.  We were about half way through the shopping when my son started his screamthesamewordoverandoverandover thing.  It can get to me, I'm tellin' ya.  But since I know that he needs some special attention in these moments, I had my hubby take the girls, and I took him.
He screamed a few more times.  He was very clearly looking for a reaction.  So...I gave him one.

I leaned over him and I wrapped my arms around him and kissed the top of his head, then his nose.  I told him he sure had been being such a good boy, even though I know he was tired and bored.  I told him that it was nice that we were going to be able to spend some time together shopping while Daddy took the girls for a bit.

The look he gave me was one that I will carry in my heart forever.  He stopped yelling completely, wrapped his arms around my waist and said "I like you Mommy."

These children are my world.  My reason for being.  They aren't the children you see on tv that are perfectly well behaved every second.  They are REAL kids, acting like real kids.  They have moments that they test me.  (Some days more than others.)  But these children have changed me.  I have learned that it doesn't matter how they behave.  It's up to ME as the adult to decide how I'm going to react to them.  It's up to ME as the adult to choose what message I want to send to them.  And from every single experience I have with them I grow.  It has become very clear to me that these children have made me a better person than I ever could have been without them.  (It tears me up a little bit!)

So, my post today is about appreciation and learning life lessons from my own kids.  They are gifts, and should be treated as such.  I could not imagine my life without my kids, and wouldn't want my life any other way. 

I don't know how I'm ever going to be able to put into words exactly the feeling I have for these three little people.  "Love" isn't a strong enough word, and "thankful" is an understatement.  They are my heart. 

And though it might not be a big deal to some people, my son telling me that he "likes" me is just as important to me as when he says that he "loves" me.  I'm glad I'm someone he likes, and doesn't only love because I'm his mom.
Life will change...they'll grow up and move out...but I hope that no matter what, I can always be someone that they LIKE, as well as someone that they LOVE.

Toddlers...When Things Get Ugly

We all know all too well that toddler have a tendency to freak out.  Sometimes they scream at the top of their lungs in the grocery store when we're in a hurry.  Sometimes they decide that they're not going to walk when we're in the mall, and sit down...showing us just how stubborn a person can be.

It's easy to get mad when they don't cooperate, or when they ignore our pleas to "be good", or "behave".  But the fact is, they're children.  They're going to act like children, whether it's convenient for us or not.  I've seen way too many parents get angry and start screaming at a crying child, telling them to "stop crying", or "just stop!" That doesn't work.  And it's not fair to your child.  Everyone has the right to feel their emotions.  Children just don't have that need (or ability) to mask their feelings like adults do.  They don't have the worry of embarrassment if they start crying in a huge group of people.  And when they feel something, they let those feelings fly.  No matter where they are.
Toddlers are a strange species.  They look like our babies, just taller.  But they act completely different.  They have a mind of their own, and are learning what they like and dislike.  Also, they are starting to feel things they have never felt before.  They are just suddenly full of feelings, and it's something that can take you back a bit if you've never had to deal with a toddler (or two, in my case) before.  It's something that needs to be approached with an extreme amount of love and compassion.  They aren't old enough to know what to do with the feelings they suddenly have...but that doesn't stop them from having them.  It's our job as parents to acknowledge them, and to help them work through them.  Even if we're shopping.  Because it's about THEM, not US.

The feelings I speak of are what are almost always the cause of "tantrums".  But other things can be that they're tired, hungry, bored, or not feeling well.  Sometimes we pull our children along with us, not really worrying about how they're feeling emotionally.  Sometimes we think that because they're not sick, they are physically okay to join us on our errands.  But that's not always the case.  I know that I have days that I just don't feel like doing things, and children are the same.  Children also thrive on routine.  When we break it up, they can sometimes (very loudly) let us know that they are not happy about it.  You can help prevent the impending tantrums if you make sure your child is not only physically able to join you that day, but also to take their emotional state into account.  Try telling them your plan before you go.  They don't seem to like surprises much, unless they include presents and cake.  So don't set yourself (or your toddler) up for disaster.

Sometimes, despite all of our best intentions, things go bad.  The toddler(s) start going crazy while we're out.  This is NOT the time to lose control.  This is when you are going to have to dig deep...pull out the patience you know you have in there, and use them.  This is the time to put the disaster plan into effect.

In my experience, most tantrums are best dealt with the same way.  This is our "disaster plan":

1. Acknowledge their feelings by telling them what you know they're feeling.  "You're upset because you don't want to be here shopping right now."  We all feel better knowing that someone "gets" what we're feeling, and generally, that stops the tantrum right away.
2. Tell them that you are sorry that they feel that way.  Sometimes there's nothing we can do to fix, or change, a situation.  (If you need groceries, you can't just abandon your cart and go home.)  "I'm sorry that you're upset about being here."  It not only tells them that you understand their feelings, but that you don't wish them to be upset...that it wasn't your intent.
3. Explain the situation.  Usually we're so busy in our day that our toddlers are just pulled around with us.  Very few people take the time to go over the plan with their toddler...it's something that's easy to forget, or overlook.  "We are here getting groceries because we need some food at home.  I'm sorry that you're upset that we're here shopping when you want to be doing something else, but we'll be done soon."
4. Give them something to look forward to.  "When we're done shopping we'll go home and put away the groceries.   You can help me.  And when we're all done we'll....[go outside, read stories, etc.]."  Giving them something to look forward to can change the whole scenario into one that is more positive.  You can talk with them about the things you're going to do when you're done shopping, while you finish getting what you need.  I've found that if we talk about what we're going to do at the park, what they like best, how fun it will be, they  seem to forget how unhappy they were and focus on the future.  Children are amazingly optimistic.  We just need to give them the chance to use it.

Please never forget that if we raise our children with not only love, but with understanding, it will give them the opportunity to feel exactly how they need to feel, to feel heard and loved, and to use their natural optimism.  Being mean to your toddler because they have feelings is no better than someone yelling at you for being upset about something.  Treat them how you want to be treated...and how you would have wanted someone to treat you when you were a child.  It might take a little practice, but practice makes perfect!  

Quotes To Live By

"The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice" -Peggy O'Mara

"How you treat your child is how she will learn to treat herself.: - Dr. Laura Markham

"Today, you will have many opportunities to either connect with your child, or to disconnect, to either encourage or discourage. Look for these opportunities. Make the best of today. ♥" -Unknown

"Anger cannot be overcome by anger. If someone is angry with you, and you show anger in return, the result is a disaster. On the other hand, if you control your anger and show its opposite.. love, compassion, tolerance and patience... not only will you remain peaceful, but the other person's anger will also diminish." - Dalai Lama

"A torn jacket is soon mended, but hard words bruise the heart of a child." - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"Being in charge doesn't mean we act like dictators with our children. That's certainly not my definition of leadership. It means we decide what our family culture will be -- respectful and considerate, for instance -- and enforce that. No disrespect, or teasing, or bullying, from anyone, including the parents." - Dr. Laura Markham - again. :)

More quotes will be added to this as time goes on.

The Effects of Emotional Abuse on Children

Emotional Abuse in Committed Relationships: Effects on Children

What is the most profound form of child abuse?

Published on January 28, 2011 by Steven Stosny in Anger in the Age of Entitlement

Families do not interact predominantly by language. That might surprise you, until you consider that humans bonded in extended families for millennia before we had language. Even today, the most sensitive communications that can have far-reaching consequences on our lives occur betweenparents and infants through tone of voice, facial expressions, touch, smell, and body posture, not language.

Though less obvious than interactions with young children, most exchanges with older children and between intimate partners also occur within an unconscious process of emotional attunement. Without realizing it, we tune our emotions to the people we love. That's how you can come home in one mood, find your partner or children in a different mood and, bam! - all of a sudden, out of nowhere, you're in their mood. Quite unconsciously, you automatically react to each other.

Emotional attunement, like most emotional processes, is negatively biased. Probably because negative emotions are more important for immediate survival - giving us the instant capability to avoid snakes in the grass and fend off saber tooth tigers - they gained priority processing in the primitivebrain and continue to have undue influence in modern times. To keep from being "brought down" by the other's negative mood, many families attempt to dull their sensitivity to the emotional world of one another. This puts them squarely on the road to dissolution, as it stenches the lifeblood of relationships -- compassion and appreciation -- both of which require openness to attunement. Due to the automatic process of emotional attunement, children are painfully reactive to a walking-on-eggshells atmosphere between parents, even if they never hear them say a harsh word to one another.

Everyone in a walking-on-eggshells family loses some degree of dignity and autonomy. It seems that you become unable to decide your own thoughts, feelings, and behavior, because you are living in a defensive-reactive pattern that runs largely on automatic pilot. In my experience of treating nearly 6,000 family members who walk on eggshells, no fewer than half suffer from clinical anxiety and/or depression.

"Clinical" doesn't mean feeling down or blue or worried; it means that symptoms interfere with normal functioning. They can't sleep, concentrate, or work as efficiently, and can't enjoy themselves without abusing a substance.

Most children in families that walk on eggshells do not feel as good about themselves as other kids. Test this for yourself. Try asking children to describe their peers. If there is emotional abuse between the parents, they are likely to describe peers in superior terms - smarter, better looking, better athletes, or more popular.

The most common symptom of children in families who walk on eggshells is depression. But the signs can fool you; childhood depression often looks different from the weeping, withdrawn, or sullen demeanor of the adult version. Childhood depression can resemble chronic boredom. Children normally have high levels of interest, enjoyment, and excitement. If your child is not interested in the things in which children are normally interested, lacks enthusiasm, and is seldom excited, he or she is probably depressed.

Another common symptom of these children is anxiety, particularly worry about things that children do not normally worry about, like how their parents are going to get through the evening with each other or whether the bills will get paid. Many kids have school problems, show aggressive tendencies, hyperactivity, and either over-emotionality -- anger, excitability, or frequent crying that seem to come out of nowhere -- or the polar opposite: no emotions at all. In the latter condition, they can look like little stone children; you could slice up a puppy in front of them and they wouldn't care. They have turned off all emotion to avoid the pain of walking on eggshells.

Witnessing a parent victimized is often more psychologically damaging to children than injuries from direct child abuse. That has proven true not only in my clinical experience but in my own family as well. I have but the faintest memories of child abuse that are more physically than emotionally based - a small hole in my skull, a knocked-out front tooth, and a couple of dislocated joints. Yet I have vivid recollections of seeing my mother ignored and dismissed as well as demeaned and terrified. Observing a parent abused is the more profound form of child abuse.

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The above information is something that every parent should know. It's too easy to ignore that your spouse/significant other treats you like garbage...because you think it doesn't matter. You think that because they are not HITTING you, that it's okay...it won't emotionally scar your children, and maybe it will show them that you "perserveared" when things weren't good. You may think that what you're doing is "best for the children", staying in an emotionally abusive relationship. Too many people are afraid to be alone, to raise their children alone, or to "put them through" the trauma of a divorce or separation. I hope now you'll see that even when your spouse doesn't put his hands on you, he is hurting not ONLY you, but your children as well. Our children deserve to live their lives feeling safe, secure, happy, free...not feel like the life they have could come crumbling down at any moment if they too don't walk on eggshells.

I believe that people are generally good, and that even the worst people have a potential to become the people they could and should have been all along. However, if staying in a relationship means that you are being hurt (whether emotionally, physically, or sexually), you need to get out of there. You can assess the whole situation better from the outside...when you're safe. Things you may have just lived with, thinking that was okay (or perhaps you were raised this way and felt it was normal), you can recognize as toxic, not only to you, but to those children who depend on you to keep them safe from ALL forms of abuse. Our children will live what they learn...they ARE a product of their environment. We need to let our children grow up in homes where they are allowed to feel the way children deserve to feel, and see their parents being good to one another.

Please, never forget that they see everything. They're like little ninjas...they see and hear things that we don't know they see or hear. So let them see and hear good things. What they see growing up is how they are going to view the world, and how they are going to expect their lives to be when they are grown themselves. Your daughters will act the way they see their mother act, and expect to be treated the way they see her treated. Your son will act the way they see their father act, and treat his women the way he sees his father treat his mother.

Even if we find it hard to stand up for ourselves, and expect to be treated kindly and lovingly by our spouse, we should be able to do it for our children...and for the adults that they are going to become.