Living Within Sensory Processing Disorder

 

What is sensory processing disorder?

Children with sensory processing disorder have difficulty processing information from the senses (touch, movement, smell, taste, vision, and hearing) and responding appropriately to that information. These children typically have one or more senses that either over- or underreact to stimulation. Sensory processing disorder can cause problems with a child's development and behaviour.

Who has sensory processing disorder?

Children with autism and other developmental disabilitiesoften have sensory processing disorder. But sensory processing disorder can also be associated with premature birth, brain injury, learning disorders, and other conditions.

(Taken from HERE.)

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Anyone else have a child with this?  I have two.  (The twins.)  It's made life interesting, that's for sure.  If you have a child who lives with this, you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about.

Our son's SPD seemed to improve dramatically when we took him off sugar, but it's still there.  Just under the surface, all the time.
Life needs to stay within certain lines for him to cope well.  It's why our morning and nighttime routines never falter.  He's able to do pretty much anything during the day as long as he knows what's coming.  He's not into surprises.  For him not to lose it completely, he needs a lot of notice of an event that is going to take place, and to be reminded of it daily.  On the way to do something, he will ask repeatedly what is going to happen.  He has to know the plan.

If a plan doesn't work out; if we tell him we're going somewhere, and for whatever reason we can't (for example, if the store is closed), all hell breaks loose.  We have to be very careful how we tell him what our plans are.  We make sure that we say, "We're going to TRY to go and..."  Then he knows that there's a chance that it may not happen, even if we are all counting on it.  Sometimes he still acts out even if he knew there was a chance of it not happening, but it's slightly less intense, and can from time to time be avoided completely.  *This is why I spend so much time making sure that stores are open/the park isn't locked/the exact times Santa is at the mall...and so on.*  It's easier to avoid a breakdown than to live through one.

We also cannot tell him that we're going to buy them (the kids) something unless we're standing in front of it and we can see that they can, without a doubt, get it.  (This could be anything from a mango, to a toy.)  Being told he can have something, and then to find it's impossible (they don't have any!), results in a meltdown.  He doesn't know how to handle it, and so he just doesn't.  What we say is going to happen HAS to happen.

What really grinds my gears is that there are people who see his behavior and assume he's "bad", or "spoiled", when in reality it's not at all.  He's SUCH a sweet and kind and wonderful boy, and if we say that we're just going to look at something (like toys), he doesn't freak out if he gets nothing.  Because it wasn't part of the plan anyway.  No biggie.  It hurts me to know that people judge my son, and me, for something he didn't choose to have.  Children with SPD look like everyone else, and there are no obvious markers for people to use to identify it.  I try not to glare back at the people who feel the need to glare at me in a moment when all I really need is an understanding smile (or nothing, you know?  If you can't manage a smile, just do NOTHING.  It's better than glaring at me...or my four year old son!).

The Boy is under-responsive to touch, under-responsive to movement, he has all but three of the sensory seeking behaviors, he has an emotional dysfunction...yet with all of this, it is still dramatically less than the list he had when he was still getting foods with sugar.  (There are entire lists now that he doesn't have any "checks" on, whereas before, every one would have been checked.)  Sugar absolutely aggravated his SPD, and caused his behaviors to be more extreme.

As for our Older Daughter, she is learning to live within it.  Slowly.  
The type my daughter has is the same type I have.  I think of it as a sensitivity to certain things.  (Perhaps because I've lived with it, I don't find it all that "abnormal".)

She's got hypersensitivity to touch, hypersensitivity to movement, poor muscle tone (born with this), hypersensitivity to sound, hypersensitivity to smells.

It's something we noticed with her from the start, though we really thought it was just "preemie" behavior.  But it never went away.  With her, the world needs to be soft and quiet.  And it needs to smell good.  She is the first one to cover her ears, even in a place that no one else really notices the level of noise.  She hates wind.  A drop of water on her shirt sets her off into hysterics.  She's learned to live with the sound of a lawn mower, but used to scream to the point of her face turning purple if she heard one.  She'll avoid foods that every other person in this house likes, because it "smells bad".  (It doesn't smell BAD, it just HAS a smell.)

It isn't always easy with her because her reactions are immediate and can sometimes seem like they're just out of the blue, but like I said before, we share many of the same traits in what we can and cannot handle.  So I get it.  I can look over at her and know when something is making her anxious just by looking at the profile of her face, because it's making me anxious too and I can see her tense jaw and know exactly how she's feeling in that moment.  But, I have no doubt that she'll make it through life without most people ever even noticing it.  Unless someone is actually paying close attention, it's unlikely that they'll notice it.  She's one of the most amazing people I've ever met in my life, and I know that as time goes on she'll learn to adapt even better than she already has.  When someone does notice, it'll be someone who cares about her.  (Most people don't pay enough attention to anyone else to notice that they can't walk in tall grass.  Ever.  Or that they wear a sweater in summer because the breeze makes their skin feel crazy.)

I've found that people are more understanding with Older Daughter, maybe because her type of SPD works better for them.  I think they treat her more kindly because she's "so sensitive", and when she acts out it's because of something like rain, or noise.  The whole thing plays into their idea of her being a helpless, delicate, "poor little girl".  For some reason, the world around us seems to want to treat her like a victim in this, and at the exact same time treat her brother like he's a terror for having the exact same behaviors that are caused by the exact same disorder.  It boggles my mind.  I'm trying to raise her to be independent and strong and to not play OR BE a victim.  I'm trying to raise my son to be sensitive and kind and be proud of the person he is, in a world set on hating men.  So the whole thing just irks me beyond belief.
Way to label them based only on stereotypes, society.  You suck.


If you want to see if you or your child have any of the symptoms, find the checklist HERE.

Here is another, for infants and toddlers.


I think a lot of people have SPD and don't even realize.  And I think a lot of kids have it and no one has ever diagnosed it, or it was mis-diagnosed as something else.  

I know that when I was first pointed in the direction of this information a couple years ago, I finally felt like I wasn't losing my mind...I knew there had been something different about them, I just didn't know WHAT.  Knowing this made all the difference.  Which is why I shared it.

Read more here:
http://www.todaysparent.com/health/kids-safety/sensory-processing-disorder

http://www.spdcanada.org/

https://myhealth.alberta.ca/health/pages/conditions.aspx?hwid=te7831&

http://www.spdfoundation.net/about-sensory-processing-disorder.html

Children Do NOT NEED To Be Spanked!!!

Well, you know I'm going to snap, right??  This has been going around for a couple of days, and it's getting to me.  REALLY getting to me.  Not JUST the picture.  But the ignorant comments that come with it.

"I had my ass beat, and I turned out okay".  Well, no you really didn't.  You became someone that believes that hitting someone 1/4 of your size, and who trusts you fully to protect them, is perfectly fine and acceptable.  And not only that, you brag about it.  So no.  You're not "okay".  You were damaged, and you're continuing the cycle of abuse that was done to you.  
The fact is that children don't think much about what they say, at different times of their lives.  Sometimes their (developmental) inability to put the thoughts and feelings of other before their own does come across as "bullying".  Sometimes it comes across as being "disrespectful".

Sometimes kids act out, even when they KNOW that their behavior is inappropriate, and unacceptable.  But then...so do a lot of adults I've known in my life...so...apparently "taking away the rights" of parents to "beat" their children's asses did not work all that well for them after all...

Hitting a child who is upset, or acting out is never the answer.  Not ever.  As adults, we have the ability to control our emotions, and our actions.  Most children do not.  It's taught over time, and if children never grow up seeing it in action, how the hell are they going to learn it?!

And, my final comment (before I go all bat-shit crazy), is that children have rights too.  The right to feel safe, and to BE safe.  The right to say no.  The right to disagree with us.  Children have the right to ACT LIKE CHILDREN.  They have the right to live in a home where they're raised with love, not fear.  Because fear does not create respect.  It creates anger.  And these blessings you were given deserve better than that.

Love them like you wish you were loved.  Pretty simple.

Children Deserve Better

In the last few days I've heard too many people talk about their children as though they just aren't the precious gifts that they REALLY ARE.  It irritates me.


As a mom who saw my first two children struggle to breathe...struggle to LIVE...when I witness a parent not appreciating their child, it just hurts my heart.


As you may or may not know, we bought a house.  We're going to be moving out of this rental in March some time, so the landlord has been showing our house.  It's not bad...it's a pain in the butt, but not a huge inconvenience.  I understand that he has to do it.  What I can NOT understand is the things some people say.

See, yesterday my husband was working overtime, so the kids, my BIL, and myself, were all home during the three showings the landlord had.


It went better than expected, really, considering the kids wanted to be part of all of it.  (Of course they would...these are new people in their house!)  The first couple saw that we have twins and told me that I must be an amazing mom to not only have twins, but to have gone on to have another.  I just laughed and told them we were very blessed.  (All of my children were very much planned and wanted, so I don't think I'm an amazing mom...I think I'm JUST a mom.)

That first couple had an 8 month old baby at home, they told me; their first.  So to them, this probably seems chaotic.  (To me, it's normal.)

The second family that went through were nice...at first.  It was a woman, her 2 1/2 year old daughter, and her mother.  I should mention that the older woman (the grandmother) was fabulous.  My issue was with the mother of that little girl.
As soon as she found out that we had twins (the landlord was telling them...not me), she commented on how much work they must be.  I said that I had them first, so to me, two at once was normal...and that they aren't much work at all.  (If they were, would I have had a third?!)
Her daughter immediately saw the toys and wanted to play, and I told her that if she wanted to leave the little one in the livingroom with us while she looked at the house, that would be fine.  I told her that one more would be no trouble at all, and I didn't mind.  She drug her screaming child through the house anyway.  Finally Grandma had enough of it, and brought her down.  She sat on the couch while the little girl played with the kids.  She was super cute, and THRILLED that she was finally getting to play with that mountain of toys she'd seen.  I talked to Grandma, who informed me that she'd been a nanny for years for a "Festival family" (which means a family that works at, or are in plays at the Stratford Shakespeare Festival), but the boys are in school and no longer need a nanny.  She seemed super nice, but I'm a little...Mother Bear...to leave my kids with someone just because they say they've been a nanny.  Hell, I could say I spent three years working on the MOON...it doesn't mean I did.  Right?!


Anyway I'm getting off topic.  When Mom came back downstairs to gather up Grandma and Daughter, she decided to say "I don't know how you did it with twins...I only have one, and she's too much for me sometimes."


*Blank stare*  (Me.)


I didn't even know what to say.  The fact that her daughter was standing right next to her when she said that just took me aback.  I honestly had one of those "did I just hear that?" moments.


I know that Mom probably didn't mean to come across as some kind of bitch...and I'm sure she didn't mean to say, infront of her daughter, that sometimes she's "too much".  But she did.  And she did.

It was one of those things in life that show just how easy it is to say things in front of our children that will define them...change them...make them into who they're going to be as adults.  I hope that Mom made a slip of the tongue there, and that it's not a regular occurrence.

The day before these people came through I was talking with a woman who was our neighbor once upon a time...when her three children were small.  (They're 9, 11, and 13 years old now!)
The reason she called was because I had agreed to care for her 9 year old son.  Let's call him Billy.
Billy has "special needs".  He has some anger issues, and apparently also has some extreme anxiety.  I can only assume that when he feels that need to flee and someone stops him, that's probably when the anger comes out.  Fight or flight...right?  Sounds likely to me.  (I don't know...I'm guessing.)
Anyway, Billy's mom brought him over about two days before her and I spoke on the phone.  We wanted him to get a chance to RE-meet me (since he was only about two when I last took care of him), so he would be comfortable being here for 8 or 9 hours a day, three times a week.
When they came to the door, everything was fine.  The Boy was sleeping on the couch, and the baby was in the living room (baby gates), so only myself and Ooey answered the door.  I figured that if only her and I went to the door to greet them, it wouldn't overwhelm him...which when all three of my kids are around, tend to happen to the best of people!
The mom walked in, said hello, and took her shoes off.  In that amount of time, her son (who had come in directly behind her), decided it was too much and ran out the door and locked himself in their car.
She looked at me and said "he bolted".  She came in to have a look at the house, leaving him to sit in the car.  Within about two minutes, he was knocking on the door, yelling for her to "hurry up and let's leave NOW!"
At this point my 3 year old daughter was in tears.  She wanted Billy to come in so she could see him because she "loves him", and she said "he's my best friend!"
So the mom tried to get him into the house.  She tried using guilt..."Look Billy, she's crying!  She just wants to meet you, come in!"
I told her not to...that my daughter has the right to be upset, but so does Billy.  I said that trying to force him into the house wasn't going to help anything.  I told her that I would talk to Ooie when they'd left and explain to her what was going on.
The mom put on her shoes, and left.

Okay, it could have went better, but it could have gone worse.  When she called me to talk about our arrangement, the behavior of that little boy suddenly made total sense.

She explained to me that her and her husband had separated 2 years ago, after several years of being unhappy and non-stop fighting.  She told me of the incident that ended it all for them...which took place in front of Billy.  (I'm not going to get into it, but it involved domestic violence and police removing her husband.)
She told me about how her husband has been playing mind games with the children, which they are too young to identify or understand.  And apparently, the night before Billy and his mom came over here to meet all of us, he'd been with his dad.

Dad is a real piece of work.  He told Billy that he was going to "hate it" over here...and that he'd be "surrounded by babies".  He told Billy that he was "going to have a panic attack and freak out", and that he "wouldn't be able to handle it" here.
Nice.  Thanks Steve.  You dick.  *Yep, calling that asshole an asshole.  No fake name there!*


Anyway, he wrote his son's destiny for him.  He set his son up for failure, and managed to make a little boy have a panic attack just by telling him he'd have one.  Great parenting.

My two cents on that:

CHILDREN ARE CHILDREN.  DO NOT USE THEM AS A PAWN IN YOUR MIND GAMES.  THEY DESERVE TO BE TAUGHT THAT THE WORLD IS A SAFE PLACE, AND THAT YOU'LL BE THERE TO SUPPORT THEM IF THEY STUMBLE.  YOU DON'T STAND THERE AND TELL THEM THEY'LL FALL, AND THEN SHOVE THEM.

Holy crap I'm pissed off at that guy.  Who does that?!  And this has nothing to do with being upset about not getting to take care of that boy.  Honestly, he may not have been happy here.  Our kids are years younger than him.  We don't even have things here he'd want to play with.  (And I'm kind of anti-video games.)  But the fact is that after the first day, after getting a chance to talk to him, I could have gotten him things he enjoyed.  And he could have, for the first time, been like a big brother.
But no.  Instead he's going to be watched by his dad during the times I was supposed to have him.  Lovely.  Because a man like that deserves more time with his kids...
Oh...wait...

Anyway, I was going to finish this post with just those two stories.  But I have one more.  And honestly, I don't care if this "costs" me any followers.  I'm at the end of my freakin rope here...

 


IF YOUR YOUNG (2 year old) SON PEES ON YOUR COUCH, AND YOU WATCH YOUR HUSBAND RUB HIS FACE IN IT AND DO NOTHING, YOU ARE A PISS POOR PARENT.  Anyone with two brain cells to rub together would have CALLED CHILDREN'S AID and had that parent removed from the home.  It's your JOB AS A MOTHER to protect your child, even if you're protecting them from your husband.  YOU chose that person as your "partner".  Your children didn't CHOOSE them at all!!!  They got stuck with him...stuck with your choice.  Great.  Lovely.  PROTECT THEM!!!

I'm telling you...if I ever saw ANYONE rub a child's face in their own urine...
It would not go well.  It would not go well at all.

Also, one more thing Super Mom...
When you see your husband slap your child in the face for biting his brother and you do nothing, you are allowing it.  You are saying it's okay.

GREAT PARENTING.

You don't get to hit children and say "keep your hands to yourself".  You have to teach by example.  You have to know that having those children is NOT YOUR RIGHT.  It's a privilege.  You can lose custody of them in a heartbeat.  They'll be gone, and even if you're not the one physically putting your hands on them, you are also not protecting them.  Failure to protect is AS BAD as being the one who does the hurting.  

"You hit me for hitting people to teach me that hitting people is wrong."  Confusing to adults.  Confusing to children!!!

If you need some help figuring out how to raise your children with respect, you can talk to your family Dr.  You can call CPS/CAS and talk to them.  You can sign up for courses, you can get some kind of funding to pay for some child care, so you can have a break from them if you need it.

You NEVER need to hurt your children.  You NEVER need to allow someone else to.  And there is no excuse for making children feel like less than the amazing gifts they are.

Worms and Children

Oh how I wish this was a post about earth worms.  I wish this was about my son bringing a pocket of those suckers into the house, and my finding them in the tub, or the fridge...or whatever.

But it's not.

It's about those nasty effing things that animals (like a cat) get in one of several ways...and can spread to children. 

Now, I don't hate animals.  I have a couple of cats and a dog, myself.  And for the time being my BIL is staying with us...and with him he brought his large dog and a cat.  Fine.  It's all good...BUT...


It's his cat that has worms...and so will be referred to from  here on in as Worm Cat.

**I mentioned that I don't hate animals because I'm angry, and will very likely say something that's not politically correct about him (the cat)...and so I don't want you thinking I'm one of those mean people that hate animals.  I don't.  But when this kind of shit happens, I sure like them a whole lot less.  (See?  That last comment is what I'm talking about...it's very not typically me...but you'll see why I'm mad.)**

I shouldn't have ever had to Google "How do I find out if my kids have worms?", and "Can my cat give my children worms?"
Our own cats are healthy.  Well taken care of.  Indoor cats...fixed...and we spent the money when we brought them inside, to make sure we never had to worry about this.  A LOT of money.


And then Worm Cat came to live with us.


Before I go too far, I want to explain a few things so you can understand.  First, Worm Cat belonged to my MIL.  Bless her soul, she had a HUGE heart.  She was known for taking in strays...animal and human.  She was one of the biggest animal lovers I've ever known.  Even when she passed away, we had the donations set up to go straight to the O.S.P.C.A.  She would have wanted it that way.  She never met a cat or dog she didn't love...and want to keep.


It used to be different.  She used to be fine when she had K.C. (my husband's cat), and her cat Izzy.  I had my own cat, Jesse, there too.

It was fine for her to have her two, and she never ever even spoke about getting another cat.  My husband and I got a dog a year and a half into being together, and he lived with us too.  It was just the three cats and our dog.  It was NORMAL.  It was about three years in, that my BIL moved back into the house with us.  Fine.  Normal.  (Mostly.)


Then we moved and took our dog, and Jesse.  My husband's cat had cancer and had to be put down right before we moved into our first place.  She still had her Izzy, and they got a puppy, Leo.  Fine.  Normal.


It was all fine until about 3 years ago.  She had a young girl living with her, and that girl got a cat.  She didn't take care of it, and would kick it, so my MIL took it away from her.  When that girl left, the cat stayed.

Then she got a male kitten from her sister.  The female she had was about a year old at that time, and the male was almost a year.  Long story short, two kittens came from a poorly planned out decision.

From the start she talked about wanting to keep the kittens.  I would try to be the voice of reason...she couldn't even afford to take the two she had to the vet...more females in a house with an un-fixed male would be more kittens.  So, instead of getting rid of those kittens to one of the MANY people who offered to take them, she got the male fixed and kept the kittens.  She was up to four cats.

Then her boyfriend found a box with a kitten in it on a walk.  He took her over to my MIL's house, and she kept her.  Five cats.  Only the male had ever been to the vet.  And the cats all started getting fleas.

Again, long story short, they all got worms.  (Which I've read are caused by infected fleas...probably caught from the dog who is walked in the bush near her house.)

When she passed away suddenly in November, we were all stuck dealing with these animals.  My BIL and his dog moved in right away, and after a week of daily visits to the house to feed and water the cats, the decision was made to take four of them (the females) to the O.S.P.C.A.  They would have a chance for a better life there...they'd get the medical care they all needed so badly.  And Worm Cat came here.

He's had worms since time began, I think.  As far as I know, it's just always been that way.  And now he's nasty.  He has either small worms, or worm segments coming out of his butt, sticking to his fur...  It's so effing gross that I kind of hate him now.


The first thing I said was that he would infect my kids.  And THAT is where my concern lies...with my HUMAN children.  He lays on the furniture.  He lays on their BEDS.  He is super-affectionate, so he WANTS to be touched all the time, and I have to put him out of the room all the time, because the kids want to touch him too!


Anyways, tomorrow he's going to the vet to FINALLY be dealt with.  He's going to get the medication I've been freaking out about him needing since November.  And if all goes well, he'll finally be healthy and live a long life.  (Hopefully not at our house...hopefully when my BIL leaves he'll take his cat...but I don't know.)

And now that Worm Cat has lived here so long, chances are that ALL of the animals are going to need to be treated for worms as well...just to be safe.  That is also something that is pissing me off, because we're going to have to pay for our cats to go to the vet when it wasn't OUR fault that they were exposed to worms in the first place.  Well...not MY fault, anyway.
(A grown man crying about a cat was too much for my husband to handle, and he said that the cat could come here...expecting that he'd have been taken to the vet LONG ago...)

Once they've all been treated, I am going to have to take the children to my Dr.  (He's an ass.)  I'm going to have to get him to test the feces of all of the children, and if any of them have worms...oh, I'll be SO MAD...all of them are going to have to be treated...and myself, my husband, and my BIL are going to have to be treated...it's THAT easy to spread it.

I've tried SO HARD to make sure my kids get only GOOD things in their bodies...we've avoided antibiotics, we stopped vaccinating them YEARS ago...and if they caught what the cat has, they're going to have to take something to kill these worms!!  GRRRR!!!!!!

So I'm irritated.  Highly irritated.  And it makes me hate the cat...and the situation...and my BIL for not listening to me when I TOLD him that the cat could infect MY CHILDREN months ago, and he did nothing.

I do my very best everyday not to be a bitch.  Some days it takes more work than others...and today is one of those days that it's not easy.  But I think I have the right to be mad.  I think I have the right to WANT to scream "You dumbass!  I TOLD YOU MONTHS AGO TO TAKE HIM IN!!!!!"

I won't scream that.  But that doesn't mean I haven't thought it about a hundred times today.

So I'll update the blog post once I know for sure what's going on.  But for now...for now I'm angry, and hate the cat.

UPDATE:  Feb. 11, 2012

So Worm Cat went to the vet yesterday.  Thankfully what he has are indeed tapeworms.  (Still effing gross...but could be worse.)  He got a dose of meds between his shoulder blades, and is being quarantined for 24 hours in my BIL's room...if the other cats lick the medication, they can get sick...it's not meant to be taken orally.  So whatever.  Cat is on the road to recovery.

So, before I go, here's what I learned.

The way that the cat got the tapeworms was from an infected flea, and he ingested it while grooming.


The white nasty things coming out of his butt are worm segments.  Yum.  (GAG!)

If humans get it, it's a single oral dose of meds to kill the worm(s).  It may need to be repeated one more time after any eggs that remain are hatched, because the eggs cannot be killed by the medication...only the worms themselves die from it.


It's UNCOMMON for humans to get tapeworms, and I've read time and time again "I haven't seen it in 20 years of practicing medicine", and "there have been no cases of tapeworms in this country for many years."
Lets hope my kids don't change the record books...


It is much more likely that if a child gets worms, the worms they get are called Pinworms...or "threadworms".


"Threadworms are the common worms that we encounter in everyday practice. They cause no symptoms apart from an itchy bottom that can disrupt sleep at night. The threadworms can exit through the anus and irritate the skin. Sometimes they can be seen just like small threads around the anal region. So the parent who questions if a disturbed night’s sleep could be due to worms might well be right."  Found HERE.


"Pinworm infections (also known as "seatworm infection," "threadworm infection," "enterobiasis," or "oxyuriasis") are contagious.
People become infected by unknowingly ingesting microscopic pinworm eggs that can be found on contaminated hands and surfaces, such as:

• bed linens
• towels
• clothing (especially underwear and pajamas)
• toilets
• bathroom fixtures
• food
• drinking glasses
• eating utensils
• toys
• kitchen counters
• desks or lunch tables at school
• sandboxes

The eggs pass into the digestive system and hatch in the small intestine. From the small intestine, pinworm larvae continue their journey to the large intestine, where they live as parasites — their heads attached to the inside wall of the bowel.
About 1 to 2 months after a person acquires the pinworm eggs, adult female pinworms begin migrating from the large intestine to the area around the rectum. There, they will lay new pinworm eggs, which trigger itching around the rectum.
When someone scratches the itchy area, microscopic pinworm eggs are transferred to their fingers. Contaminated fingers can then carry pinworm eggs to the mouth, where they are reingested, or to various surfaces, where they can live for 2 to 3 weeks.

If you're wondering if your family pet could give your child a pinworm infection, it can't. Pinworms don't come from animals."

The above information was found HERE.

What Are the Most Common Types of Worms in Cats? 

• Roundworms are the most common internal parasites in cats. Resembling spaghetti, adult worms are three to four inches long. There are several ways cats can become infected. Nursing kittens can get roundworms from an infected mother’s milk, while adult cats can acquire them by ingesting an infected rodent or the feces of an infected cat.
• Hookworms are much smaller than roundworms—less than an inch long—and reside primarily in the small intestine. Because they feed on an animal’s blood, hookworms can cause life-threatening anemia, especially in kittens. Hookworm eggs are passed in the stool and hatch into larvae, and a cat can become infected either through ingestion or skin contact. Please note, hookworms are more common in dogs than in cats.
• Long and flat, tapeworms are segmented parasites and range from 4 to 28 inches in length. An infestation can cause vomiting or weight loss. Cats acquire tapeworms by ingesting an intermediate host, like an infected flea or rodent. When cats are infected, tapeworm segments—actual pieces of the worm that resemble grains of rice—can often be seen on the fur around a cat’s hind end.
• Unlike intestinal parasites, lungworms reside in the lungs of a cat. Most cats will not show any signs of having lungworms, but some can develop a cough. Snails and slugs are popular intermediate hosts of this type of parasite, but cats are usually infected after eating a bird or rodent who has ingested an intermediate host.

Can I Catch Worms from My Cat? 
Yes! A large number of roundworm eggs can accumulate where cats defecate. People, especially children, who ingest such eggs can develop serious health problems, such as blindness. In fact, roughly 10,000 children are infected with roundworms each year. 

That information was taken from the ASPCA website.

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So what shouldn't even need to be said, but obviously needs to be, is if your pet has worms, take them to the vet for treatment ASAP.  Homeopathic remedies are best left to other problems.  This is one time your cat needs medicine from the actual vet.  Each kind of worm requires specialized treatments, specific to that type.  Treating a cat for roundworm when they have tapeworms is just going to cost you money, and do nothing for the cat.  And every day your pet has worms, is a day you are exposing children to the risk of getting them.

For the record, I don't hate Worm Cat.  But I'll sure like him a lot better when he isn't putting my kids at risk.

Constant Yelling Can Be Just As Harmful to Children as Physical Abuse

I'm sure this information is no surprise to most of us, but for those that think it's just fine to SCREAM at your kids all the damned time, here's some information for you.


Taken from HERE. 

What does the research show?

Most parents, even the most patient ones, lose their temper and yell at their children. According to a 2003 study published in The Journal of Marriage and Family, 88 percent of the 991 families interviewed admitted shouting, yelling or screaming at their children in the previous year. That percentage jumped to 98 percent in families with 7-year-old children.

While occasional yelling is common in American families, parents who constantly yell at their children are subjecting their children to emotional abuse that researchers say can be as harmful as physical abuse. A 2001 study in the American Journal of Psychiatry involving 49 people with depersonalization disorder (a mental disorder in which a person has a feeling of detachment or estrangement from one’s self) and 26 emotionally healthy people, found that yelling and other forms of emotional abuse was a more significant predictor of mental illness than sexual and physical abuse.

Besides being potentially harmful if overused, yelling is often ineffective. “Children can become immune to being yelled at and start to tune it out,” according to psychologist Myrna B. Shure, Ph.D., of Drexel University. Dr. Shure’s research shows that parents whose only way of disciplining their children is by yelling, demanding or commanding have children that at age four or five are more likely to display physical or verbal aggression, social withdrawal, and a lack of positive/prosocial behaviors, such as sharing and empathy. She says instead of yelling, which makes children feel angry and frustrated, parents should use a problem-solving approach in which children are taught to think about their own and others’ feelings. For example, if your children will not pick up their toys, ask them to think of how you feel when they won’t pick up the toys. Then ask them to think of something they can do so you won’t feel that way. This approach can have large and long-lasting effects on children's behavior (see http://www.psychologymatters.org/shure.html andhttp://www.thinkingchild.com).

How do these findings relate to ACT?

The ACT program recommends that the best way for parents to prevent negative behaviors in their children is to support positive behaviors. Parents may be less tempted to yell at their children if they talk to their children about simple rules about behavior, and then put them into action. After setting up the rules, parents can guide children using some of the following approaches:

• Let children know what you expect, with simple statements. “Please put away your toys right now.”
• Give warnings and reminders, without threats. “When you put away your toys, then you can go outside with your friends.”
• Tell a child what to do rather than what not to do. “Please use a soft voice,” instead of “Stop yelling!”
• Follow through with praise for following instructions or consequences for disobeying.

It is normal for adults to get angry; but it is important to learn to recognize angry feelings and to learn and practice positive ways of dealing with them. For specific anger-management steps, read the ACT handout: "Helping Adults Manage Their Angry Feelings" (http://www.actagainstviolence.org/materials/handouts/FamilyAM1.pdf).

Citations:

Simeon, D., Guralnik, O., Schmeidler, J., Sirof, B., & Knutelska, M. (2001). The role of childhood interpersonal trauma in depersonalization disorder.American Journal of Psychiatry, Vol. 158, pp. 1027-1033.

Straus, M.A., & Field, C.J. (2003). Psychological aggression by American parents: National data on prevalence, chronicity, and severity. Journal of Marriage & Family, Vol. 65, pp. 795-808.

Shure, M.B. (2005). Thinking Parent, thinking child. New York: McGraw-Hill.

If you can't handle your kids without yelling at them all the time, it's YOU who needs to change.  They are CHILDREN, and they get ONE childhood.  You get ONE chance to do this right.  If you can't do it the way it needs to be done, admit it, and seek help.  Please.

Your children deserve the very best life.  Living in fear is no way to live.

**And to those who are all butthurt about this article that states that screaming at children regularly is abuse, I suggest you read THIS post, and perhaps grow up and move on.  Obsessing over this one post makes you look crazy.  Bye bye now!**

Why I Hate Sleep

I used to be a sleeper.  I hadn't slept for so many years before I met my husband, I think I was making up for it.  I don't even remember really dreaming...but before I got pregnant with my twins, I'll admit (since anyone who knows me in real life already know!), I used to smoke my fair share of pot.  As soon as I took my first round of fertility treatments, I stopped cold-turkey, determined that my children would get a mom that was completely present.  A lot of my own childhood was one I wouldn't wish on anyone, and being clean and sober was part of making sure that wouldn't be re-played with my own children.  (I haven't touched anything stronger than an Ultra-Strength Tylenol in over 4 years.  I have strong views on the childhood my own kids will get, and there's nothing in this world that would ever sway me from it.)

So as I was saying, I used to sleep.  Then I had the twins.
When they were born, we had to leave them behind in the NICU and go home without them.  I couldn't sleep.  How could I?!  I was terrified that if I slept, something would happen to them...that if it wasn't for my hourly phone calls to the hospital, their fate would be sealed...and not in a good way.
I never slept more than an hour at a time during the 6 weeks they were in the NICU without me.  Then, I moved into the "Care By Parent" unit of the NICU with them for the last 16 days.
It didn't take long for me to figure out that the 5 or so hours of broken sleep I was getting at home was a WALK IN THE PARK compared to the 3 hours of sleep I was getting in the hospital!
(The only difference was that in the hospital, with the babies right next to me in their cots, hooked to monitors, I could get that 3 hours of sleep all in a row...which is more time than I'd slept in one stretch than I had in a LONG time.)

When we took them home they were still on an every-three-hour feeding schedule, around the clock.  And, if you've never been on one, I'll explain to you that it means every 3 hours from the start of one feed, to the start of the next feed.  Even if it takes 45 mins. to feed the baby.  Even when there are two.  So, I'd feed one for 1/2 an hour to 45 mins., then put them back to bed.  I'd wake the next one, feed them for 1/2 an hour to 45 mins., and put them back to bed.  Then I'd pump (for the first 4 months), or make up the next bottle for my daughter (after 4 months), before going back to bed for what ended up being roughly an hour.  Then I'd get up and do it all again.
They had this schedule for 6 months after they came home (until they were 8 1/2 months old).  My husband works shifts, and was working 14 hour days after they came home, so I was doing all the feeds myself.
In total, I would sleep 3 hours every 24 hours...in three 1-hour spurts.
Even after we were given the okay to let them sleep 4-5 hours between feeds, I was still up every hour on the hour, checking to make sure they were alive.  I couldn't help it.  I'd seen them both so close to dying so many times...

Anyways, they never slept through the night until they were 16 months old.  (And when they did "sleep through the night, it was for 6 hours.)  I'd learned to go on very little sleep, so when our 3rd child was born a month before the twins turned 2 1/2, I had no problem with the night-feedings.
I had no problems with her waking up at night, then having to get up early with the twins in the morning.  I don't mind not getting a ton of sleep...and I'll tell you why.

Since having kids, I'm having nightmares again. And not just a bad dream about being chased by a monster or whatever, it's always horrible dreams about something happening to one of the kids. I dream that someone steals one of them, or we lose one of them...and lately I've been dreaming about the baby. I've been having nightmares that she's falling down the basement stairs, that someone steals her, or that she disappears from a store, that she dies. Last night I dreamed that Children's Aid came and took her away to give her back to her real mom. And even though I know, logically, that I gave birth to her, there is still nothing more upsetting for me than imagining that for whatever reason, these kids wouldn't be here everyday when I wake up.

I don't know if it's because for the first time in years I'm really getting some real sleep, or if it's because of the insanity that has been our lives for the last couple of months is now settling down and my brain is still stuck in crisis mode, or what.  But I don't like it.  And it makes me hate sleeping.

For as long as I can remember I've had nightmares, and only waking up every couple of hours during the night, or not sleeping for any real stretch of time, can keep me from having them.  Only during those years that I smoked my body weight in pot everyday, could I sleep without worrying about having a horrible nightmare.

Even as a kid I remember having a nightmare about my mom killing my dad and brother, and telling me that she wouldn't kill me if I didn't tell...
I remember dreaming about "killers" sneaking into my house, and I had to hide my brother under the leaves in our backyard so they wouldn't find him...and there was nowhere for me to hide...
And that re-occurring nightmare about falling down basement stairs and seeing the shadow of a man at the top of the stairs...I'd wake up before hitting the bottom.  I had that dream EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. for years and years before it stopped suddenly.  (I'll get into that another day.)

I don't know.  I don't really get why I have the nightmares I have, but it's probably a mixture of stress and going to bed thinking about things that are best thought about during the daylight hours.  I think I need to also stay the heck off of the internet around bedtime and maybe stay off the Nancy Grace Facebook page all together.  (You'll see a disturbing trend on there if you look...)

Anyway, I'm going to get off of here and have a tea party with my little pants-less fireman, my "Christmas Dora", and the "Pink" princess.   LOL

Hopefully tonight will be different.

Forgetting That Children Have Rights

Child Camel Jockeys

The trafficking of young children for forced labor is one of the fastest growing areas in international crime. A study by the Ansar Burney Trust found that child trafficking has picked up considerable momentum over the past few years and one of the most disturbing roles these children were being forced into were those of camel jockeys.

The Ansar Burney Trust has for the last 16 years been working to bring to an end the cruel and atrocious act of using innocent young boys as camel jockeys in the Arab world. These children, some as young as 4 years old, are forced to work up to 18 hours a day in the scorching heat of the deserts.

The child who cannot stay awake for the 18 hours of gruelling work is given a “karba” (electric shock), while those who decide to disobey orders or play games are beaten and tortured. Stories of cruelty inflicted on many of the children rescued by Ansar Burney Trust involved them being tied up in chains in the desert heat, beaten with metal rods and leather whips, cut with blades and being raped by their “owners”.

They are deliberately underfed and malnourished to keep their weigh down and allow the camel on which they ride to run faster. Some are fed only three biscuits a day with water, while others are given dirty and unhygienic food – worse than what is fed to the camels. If that does not bring their weight down, they are forced to wear metal helmets to make them bleed and reduce weight that way.

Another reason that very young children are used is the fact that when scared or in pain – they scream; and the louder the child screams in pain the faster the camel to which he is strapped will run.

The children are fastened to the camels with Velcro, but the ride is so rough that many fall and are gravely injured – dying a few days later due to the lack of medical attention or care. Some die on the spot by being crushed under the feet of racing camels and some are even killed by the owners of the camps because they wanted to leave. Those who survive, bare scars of their torment and permanent disabilities.

We estimate that as of last year, there were more than 20,000 children working as camel jockeys all over the Middle East – majority of whom had been smuggled from South Asia and Africa.

A Glimmer of Hope

UAE: In November 2004, Mr. Ansar Burney met with His Highness Sheikh Mohammad bin Zayed Al Nahyan, Crown Prince of Abu Dhabi and Deputy Supreme Commander of the UAE Armed Forces. At the meeting a decision was taken by the UAE leadership to ban the use of underage camel jockeys and enforce the law with a punishment of fine and imprisonment. A centre was established a week later in Abu Dhabi under the authority of Ansar Burney Trust; it has the capacity to house 400 children and provide them with clean food and clothing, a good education, excellent medical treatment and a safe shelter. After 4 months, these children are to be repatriated back to their home countries.

Qatar: In May 2005, the Government of Qatar has announced severe punishments on the use of underage children as camel jockeys and ordered to replace them with robots. The Qatari government and the Ansar Burney Trust plan to establish a centre in Qatar for the treatment and rehabilitation of the children rescued from camps in the country.

Examples to follow: The Ansar Burney Trust is currently in the process of persuading other Middle Eastern countries to follow the example set by Qatar and the UAE; and ban the use of underage children as camel jockeys.

For more information,. please click here

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Amazing from the moment of conception.

I came across this story when I was looking up "Children's Rights".  This is only one of several horrible stories on the same website of the lack of compassion being shown to the world's children.  (Find the website HERE.)

This type of thing just shows that we're living in a world that doesn't understand that children have the exact same rights to freedom, compassion, love, and life, that adults have.  It also shows me just how blessed we are that some of us DO recognize their value and rights.  Children are a gift.  They deserve to be treated as such.  And, as any other gift we're given, they can be taken away.  Having children isn't a right...it's a privilege.
I wanted to make people aware that this shit even exists.  It's easy to live our own lives completely ignorant about these events.  (I sure didn't know about this before today!)
As a whole we need to work together to make people aware of the way children are treated across the globe.  We can peacefully parent our own children, and slowly that is going to make a difference in the world we live in.  But this message...that children are a blessing, and they need protection no matter where they're born, or what their gender...it needs to be shouted from the rooftop!
Children deserve the very best, starting the second they are conceived.  No child should ever have to feel the pain of being circumcised.  No child should ever have to be afraid, to be hurt, to be neglected...
And, if there's one thing I will continue to do as long as I live, it's to stand up for those who cannot speak, and those who's voice is so small that it's easily ignored. "Greatest Love Of All"

I believe the children are our are future 
Teach them well and let them lead the way 
Show them all the beauty they possess inside 
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be 
Everybody searching for a hero 
People need someone to look up to...

Kids Should Come With GPS (Or Some Other Means Of Tracking Them!)

I hear ya, sister!

HOLY HELL!!
We just got back from taking the kids into Zellers (similar to K-Mart for Canadians), to look at the winter coats.  They're 50% off today, and my the coat my husband bought last year has a hole in it...so we thought we'd go in and atleast have a look.
We had all three kids with us, and didn't use a cart...I held the baby and the twins just walked with us.  Everything was fine for a few minutes.  My husband looked at coats, and the kids and I stood and smelled all the different gel air fresheners.  They were very clearly not into shopping...they wanted to look at the toys, but I was afraid to take them all there by myself (just incase one of them took off running).
Both of the twins started testing their limits.  Each of them took turns running a little farther away before coming back.  I told them we should go and get Daddy and we'd go look at the toys for a bit, but they just weren't having it.  My daughter decided to bolt.  She headed in one direction as my son went the opposite way.
Now, my son was part way down the main isle when Ooey took off.  I had to run, grab his hand, and try to chase after her.  By the time I'd grabbed him, she was out of sight.  I ran around the section she was in about 10 times, baby in my arms (she's 22 lbs., btw), and my Big Boy running next to me.  I was FRANTIC.  I've never lost any of them before, and it just figures that it happens to me the first time during the Christmas madness!!!
After going around, and through, the baby area about a million times, I realized I wasn't going to just turn the corner and find her, and my husband was still MIA.  So Baby Girl, Big Boy, and myself went tearing up to Customer Service...butting infront of everyone.  (I would have DARED those other people to say something at that point!!!)  I told them that I lost my daughter, and they called a "Code Yellow"...meaning a child is lost, and all staff were to stop doing what they're doing and look for her.  I gave them a description of her clothing, and told them that she has light blue eyes and blonde hair, and then I was off...going back to look for her.
As soon as I turned around, a girl I used to work with in the restaurant there saw me and asked me what was wrong...I told her that Ooey was missing and she asked what she was wearing.  Thankfully she knows my children, and was the one to stand at the front doors to make sure no one stole her before she was found.  (All other exits are also guarded by staff.)

I knew at that point it was only a matter of finding her.  No one would get her out of that store.  (Still...I couldn't barely breathe!)  I ran back to where I saw her run, and didn't see her running around there, so went back towards the winter coats where I last saw my husband.  Finally I saw him and ran straight to him, and told him that Ooey was gone...she ran off...take the other two...wait here, I'll be back!

I went back again to where I'd last seen her run, and there was a woman there carrying a baby in it's carseat. I must have looked as afraid as I felt...she asked me if I was missing a little girl.  I said "I am!"  She told me that she was hiding inside the $15 clothing rack.  I yelled a "thank you!!!!" as I ran to the rack.  I saw her little feet sticking out and I ran over and she sat there looking up at me.

"I got lost", she said.  0_0  Uh...yeah.  No kidding.  I grabbed her hand and helped her get up, and I picked her up and held her so tight.  I wanted to yell and cry at the same time.  I have NEVER been so afraid in my life...I said "I lost you and I was so afraid!!!"  She said "I ran off."  I told her that the announcement she just heard was about her...that everyone was looking for her.

As I brought her out of the baby section, I saw two employees walking by and heard one say "do you know if we're looking for a girl or a boy?"  The other one said "no, I'm not sure."  I said "You're looking for a girl.  But I found her!"  (These were also two ladies I worked with when I worked there.)

I immediately took her to my husband, so he'd know I'd found her.  I told him where she'd been all along, and then took her and Big Boy up to the Customer Service desk so they would know she was found.  I stuck both of them inside the cart.  At that point I wasn't willing to risk losing one of them again!

As we started to walk away, one of the employees behind the desk said "You can breathe now."
Yeah right.

It took me two days to stop feeling like I did when I couldn't find her.  Still, just thinking about it makes me weepy.  It's my worst fear...losing one of the kids.  And it happened...for a few minutes.  I hated that.  I hated being that mom who had to tell them that my child was lost.  I hated being that mom who actually LOST one of her kids.  Embarrassing and terrifying all rolled into one.

The reason I'm documenting this on my blog is because it wasn't until I talked about it with family, and on Facebook, that I found out that (eventually) it happens to everyone.  I guess the only way to know 100% without a doubt that it's never ever going to happen is to tie our children to us when we go out.

I ended up having to have our first "stranger danger" talk with the kids...something I've managed not to have to tell them yet.  But now they know.  (Mostly.)  And they aren't afraid of people now anymore than they were before, which is good.  I don't want them to be afraid...I want them to be AWARE, and not to put themselves in harm's way.

Oh, and one final part to this story...
I remember being about 4 years old and swiping a pint of strawberries off the counter at the grocery store.  I hid under a triangle sign and ate them, even when I saw my parents go by.  Even when I heard my name on the intercom.  And when my mom finally found me, I got spanked.  The end of that story sucks, but I've always laughed a little, not realizing the fear I put into her.
I called her that night and apologized for that day.  Suddenly that story isn't so funny.