Things I Never Thought I'd Say

I think it's time for a funny post.  I'm working on several serious ones, but thought maybe I should get this one typed up first since I'm a firm believer that we need to be silly AS MUCH as we're serious...if not more.

Since having kids, I have said things (you have too) that I never thought I'd ever say.  Here's a list of the most popular at our house.

1.  Stop eating the cat food.
2.  Don't lick the floor.
3.  Don't move.  You have poop on your foot.
4.  Are you eating dog food?  Spit it out.
5.  Get off your sister.  She's not really a horse.
6.  Did you wipe your bum?  No?  Get off my lap.
7.  Where are your clothes?
8.  We don't play with the plunger.  It's yucky.  Seriously, put it back.  Aaaahhh!  Don't touch me with it!!
9.  Don't touch the cat's bum.
10.  Did you just pee on the kitchen floor?  Again?
11.  Did I just sit in pee?
12.  Don't stick that noodle in your nose.  Or your ear.  ...EW!  Don't eat it now!!


I have dozens of these, but that little tidbit gives you an insight on my life.  LOL

This would be a fun one to post on (either here, or on FB), and share your own "things I never thought I'd say".  :)

This has nothing to do with the post, but it's hilarious!

Waking Up And Tuning In.

This was borrowed from HERE.

Look at Me When I’m Talking To You!

Posted on August 21, 2012 by Emily Plank, Abundant Life Children

Hey.  You are Mixing Your Messages.  You know like when I’ve done something that makes you mad?  Like drawing in a book?  Or sitting on my sister?  Or eating the apple pie before dinner?  And you get your body real low to look me right in the face.  And you turn my shoulders so I have to look at you while you are angry with me.  And sometimes I don’t even know why you are angry.  I knowMarkers Are For Paper! but a book is paper and I needed to draw a lizard on that rock in the sunshine.  And I know Your Sister Is Smaller Than You! but I am smaller than you and I can ride on your back like a horsie and she likes the horsie too.  And I know now that The Pie Is For After Dinner! but I was hungry and I don’t know when dinner is coming anyway.

And then you say, Look At Me When I’m Talking To You!  but I want to turn my eyes someplace else because I’m embarrassed but I know you will get madder if I don’t just Look At Me When I’m Talking To You!  Then you talk and talk and talk and sometimes I get distracted by the cat or my friend or a shadow on the wall or the fly that landed on your ear.  Then my eyes go someplace else and you get mad again.

You know those times?  The times when you want my Undivided Attention?

Or when Important People come to visit?  And you talk and talk and talk, and sometimes I need to tell you about the painting in the kitchen or the boats I saw last weekend or my panties that are on backwards.  And you tell me toWait My Turn or Don’t Interrupt Me When I’m Talking.  Or you tell me to sayExcuse Me and I do but you don’t stop talking.  Or you tell me to say Can I Interrupt but you still don’t stop talking.  And when you do give me my turn you have a very heavy breath that tells me I did something Frustrating.

You know those times?  The times when you want me to Not Interrupt!

And then when I am in the middle of looking for my lost green butterfly and you say it’s Time For Singing but I don’t want to come because I am doing something important.  But you tell me Do It Later so I have to leave the spot where I almost saw her fly over a rock.  Then when I am running so hard and fast around the chair and you tell me No Running In The House. Sit Down And Read A Book. and I don’t want to read because of running so fast.  Then when I almost build a castle to the ceiling and then you tell me to Clean It Up Because It’s Lunchtime but I’m not done with it yet.

But I have a problem.  You want me to look at you, even when you are very angry and I don’t want to look at you.  And you want me to wait my turn for talking, even when I have something very important to say.  So why don’t you look at me when I’m doing my very important things before you tell me to stop?  And why do you get to interrupt what I am doing without waiting until I’m done?

Maybe when I am looking for my lost green butterfly when it is really singing time, you could let me keep looking, or you could ask me what I’m doing before you tell me that I have to come and sing.  You could come and look with me or maybe singing time could be after looking for my butterfly time.  Because no one told my butterfly it was singing time and she was almost going to fly over the rock.  Or maybe when I am running so fast around the chair and you don’t want me to run in the house you can tell me to run outside so I can still keep running so fast.  Or maybe when my castle is almost as tall as the ceiling, you could help me save it for after lunch so I can build it later.

If you want my attention then give me your attention,
even if you need me to change activities.

If you don’t want to be interrupted don’t interrupt me,
and if you have to, then help protect my important things until I can use them again.

It might make things a little more clear.

When I read this I did have a few tears.  I am guilty of not always being "present" when I'm with my kids.  I'm busy thinking about the laundry that I have to get done before my husband gets ready for work, or that it needs to be done before the kids go to bed because Little Daughter can't sleep when she hears the washing machine...
I've spent too much time worrying about what I'm going to make for dinner, and stressing over the mess my basement is.  I know I've missed important details along the way while worrying about things that should not have mattered.  I have missed things I should not have missed, and it just destroys me to become this fully aware of it.

I am guilty of allowing myself to become overwhelmed with how I keep getting told things "should be", and instead of enjoying my children in this oh-so-very-important time in their lives, I instead freak out because there are toys scattered across the entire floor of the living room, and random laundry here and there that the kids took off and chucked over their shoulder.

Not only am I finding that all of this is making me fail as a housekeeper, it's also making me feel as though I am failing as a mother.  I can't seem to manage to do it all, and the whole thing laid out in front of me is so overwhelming that I just feel like I'm drowning...  

Along the way I forgot that there are things more important than following a schedule.  And there are things more important than doing everything a certain way because some person you don't even give a flying rat's BEHIND about, tells you that's how it should be.  
Along the way I stopped seeing the crickets.  I stopped finding joy in super-tall Mega Blocks castles.  I stopped enjoying life and started feeling like I was simply maintaining it, at best.

If there is one reason to be thankful for the internet, it's that we can connect with other people who have managed NOT to find themselves buried under a sea of size 4 underpants, and self doubt.  And they can light something inside of us that was burnt out by people undeserving of that ability.

I am thankful for this blogger and the post that I copy and pasted above.  I am thankful for the opportunity to make tomorrow better than today.  And, most of all, I am thankful for the never ending, unconditional love I have from my children.  They have been watching me grow right along with them.  What I saw in my own life, and what I want them to see, are so very very very different.  

I will stumble along the way, but for me, this is a path never taken by my own family, and it's not going to just be easy and natural.  It's not what I know.  The bumps and bruises I get to my ego or my heart, along the way, will make me the person I want them to be.  And hopefully, through watching me trying so hard to be everything to them, and watching me succeed, and seeing me fail and keep on trying, they'll find that the path to this kind of parenting isn't quite as full of brambles as it was when I walked it.  Because I led the way.  Because someone had to go first.

I end this post with this poem (we all know it!) that now means something much different to me than when I read it in high school.

Robert Frost (1874–1963).  Mountain Interval.  1920.

1. The Road Not Taken

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth;         5   Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same,         10   And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back.         15   I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.         20

Sugar-Free Super Yummy Peanut Butter Balls

As I'm sure some of you know, my son cannot process refined sugars of any kind.  He also cannot seem to handle maple syrup, or any type of artificial sweeteners.  Also, he is for sure extremely sensitive to dyes.
So that leaves us with raw honey as our main "sweetener".  (We also use bananas and apple sauce, dates, and whatever other fruits we can find that are very ripe, but in baking the honey works best in place of sugar.)

This recipe is one of my favorites because of how easy it is, and it's the kids' favorite because of how good it tastes.    

No bake sugar-free peanut butter balls:

1/2 cup quick oats (you can use instant oatmeal)
1/2 cup peanut butter (you could use whatever nut butter you like)
2 tbsp flax (you don't need this, just increase the oatmeal by a tbsp. if you don't use it)
2 tbsp. raw honey (soften)

Mix it all up in a bowl until it's all consistent.  Roll into small balls.  Refrigerate.

The end.

*These are our tweaked version of a chocolate chip pb ball recipe I found online.

:)  Enjoy!!!

In Times Like This...My Heart Aches For Those Lost

In times like this, when we are overwhelmed reading the horror story coming out of Connecticut, it's easy to be overwhelmed with fear for our own children.  I understand, and feel guilty of this myself.

Friday my kids were in school.  They're in a JK/SK-split classroom.  They're four.  They're in a class of children between the ages of 3 and 5 years old.  My children, and the children they share their day with, are all amazing and wonderful children.  I cannot help but imagine the horror of this happening to my own precious babies...all of those children who are still just full of love, and wonder, and who still believe the world is good and kind.

I was taking a nap with our little one, and it was one of those naps where I spent half the time just laying there, thinking of how lucky I am to have the kids I have; the life I have.  And when we got up, Little Daughter asked for Dora, so I turned the tv on.  I was immediately plunged into something no one should wake up to.  The news of another school shooting...one that claimed the lives of children just like my own.  Children who were still in that stage of life that makes them completely innocent, easy targets for violence.

It took my brain about 30 seconds to comprehend what I was seeing, and I immediately changed the channel to cartoons for Little Daughter, until I could get her distracted with colouring behind the couch.  (Out of view of the tv.  I know she's too small to understand what "school shooting" means, but my kids are NOT exposed to that kind of stuff, no matter what.)  I turned the tv down, and put on a cd of songs about teddy bears that has been sitting here since the beginning of time, and I tuned back into the news.  My heart almost exploded, and I checked the time.  1:40pm.  Older Daughter wasn't in school.  She was safely with Daddy at a Dr.'s appointment.  But The Boy was still in school.  I had to change it.  My mother's heart couldn't take it.  I was between panic and tears...I don't think it's something any parent wants to see when they know a piece of their heart is still at school.

My son came home safely, of course, at his usual time.  Of course he did.  That's not their school.  But it didn't stop me from standing at the bus stop 10 minutes early, just waiting for him...just to get him away from all of that, back to the safety of our house as fast as I could.  When he stepped off the bus, I picked him right up and hugged him for way too long, and he told me I was squashing him to death.  I was just so...thankful...so very thankful that he was home and safe and hadn't had to live through that horror.  

I am sure I'm not the only one who wanted to just grab my kids and run...run...  But where do we go?  And what exactly am I running from??  It didn't happen here.  It didn't happen to them.  But it certainly DID remind me why I wanted to homeschool...one of the main reasons I wanted to homeschool.  Children cannot be killed in a school shooting if they're not in school.

I wish I could say that I have regained my senses, and realized something that has taken away my fear.  But I have not.  I have to send my kids to school again, as it's the last day of practice before their Christmas concert later in the week.  I have to send them because I cannot zip them in a bubble.  I have to send them because my fear may be rational, however it could quickly become very irrational if I hide them from the world.  I have to send them because it didn't happen here.  It wasn't their school.  I cannot show them the terror I feel because I do not want to raise them to be afraid.  I want them to be aware of the world we live in...but not today.  Not at four years old.  For now they need to believe in good.  They deserve to believe in it, because it exists.  Even in the middle of chaos, it exists...

But, it isn't going to stop me from never being able to take a nap while they're in school, ever again.  I will never be able to pretend the world is this wonderful place where our children are protected from this kind of pain and fear and horror because they are innocent.  I will never take for granted a single second, even when they're tired and fighting.  I will be thankful that they are here, because for 20 other families, they will never have that chance again.

I don't know if there's any sense to this post, other than to get off my chest what has been weighing so heavily on me since I first heard this story.  If there is one thing I do want to say that I think matters more than anything else, is that we need these stories to focus on the victims.  The world has a problem separating the famous from the infamous, and we need to stop giving publicity to the killers.  We need to stop making them names we remember, while we forget the names of the innocent people whose lives were cut short by a person who very clearly was mentally ill.  

These are the names that need to be shared.  These are the names of the people who went to school that day, and had no choice in what happened.  These are the people that need to be remembered.  The name of the person who went into that school and took their lives is a name that needs to be forgotten.  He should not be who the focus is on.  Murdering innocent people should not make a person's name go down in history.

From one parent to another, my heart aches for the families of all of the victims.  All of them.  And also to the parents of children who survived that ordeal.  And to the loved ones of the police, firemen, ambulance drivers...all of the people who had to walk into that scene because it's their job.

My heart hurts from this.  This isn't something that should happen.  Not ever.

So again I will log off and be with my children.  Because this kind of thing just reminds us all how lucky we are to have these kids in the first place...makes us hug them tighter.

Love and light to all those affected.  I am so very sad for everyone.

Whole For The Holidays

Swiped this image from HERE.

So I'm not sure why, exactly, but it seems to me that this time of year there are a lot of babies being born.  Maybe it's the spring mating season thing?  I don't know, and I don't pretend to really care why.  The thing I do care about is that during the "holiday season", we're all ready wracked with enough insanity, before we add to it the babies.  

With every pregnancy announcement and upcoming birth, those of us who call ourselves "intactivists" just get STRESSED RIGHT FREAKIN' OUT.  I swear, I have an ulcer.

Nothing says "Happy Holidays" like knowing that people you've spoken to about circumcision a dozen times (at LEAST) over the last several months, very likely just had their newly born son circumcised.  And it's not as though they didn't know the facts.  If they ignored the sea of information I gave them, the decision to cut him would have been completely based on the husband's insecurity with his own genitals.  ("What's wrong with being circumcised?  I'm circumcised!  And my son will be too!")

What really GETS to me about this time of year when it comes to circumcision is that these adults are thinking of all of the super cute little outfits they're going to buy for their son.  They're thinking of the gifts that they'll have for him under the tree.  And they'll be spending two months flipping through flyers and websites, looking for that perfect gift for themselves.  'Tis the season for giving (and receiving), right?

I have this "crazy" idea.  How about instead of worrying about which Christmas sweater you're going to buy your son, you just leave your him with the foreskin his body was meant to have, and call it even.  It'll save you $24.99, and save him a lifetime of living with your idea of what his genitals "should" look like.

How about you just forgo the circumstraint, the tearing, the screaming, the trauma... 

How about you just love your son for the person he is, without thinking that his penis was made so horribly wrong that it must be "fixed" before he goes home from the hospital because, *GASP*, what if someone was to see it intact?!  The HORROR!!!

How about this holiday season, you leave your son's penis alone.  Give him the gift of a whole, intact body. Your son's "package" came perfectly wrapped, exactly as it was designed to be. It's a gift that keeps on giving all throughout his life, and one that he'll never grow out of.  (Which is more than I can say about that ugly sweater...)

Christmas sweater...see what I mean?!
(Swiped image from HERE.)

If you need more information, here are some links.  

www.WholeNetwork.org
www.Dr.Momma.org
www.SavingSons.org
www.4Eric.org
www.IntactAmerica.org
www.CIRP.org
www.NoCirc.org
www.circumcision.org


Also, if you have any questions and need someone to talk to, please, email me, chewygranolamomma@yahoo.ca
or send me a message via my Facebook page.  (LINK HERE.)

Holiday Crafts For The Kids

I had a friend just send me a msg., asking me to re-post a link to a craft that I shared on my Facebook wall.

While I was searching for it, I found more.  Tons more.  I thought I'd share them with you.  (I'd LOVE to see the results!!)

http://www.betterbudgeting.com/christmasornaments08/handprintornaments.htm

http://www.examiner.com/article/crafts-for-kids-how-to-make-reindeer-handprint-ornaments

http://www.holiday-kids-crafts.com/santa-crafts-handprintsantaornament.html

http://thesnailstrail.blogspot.ca/2009/10/o-christmas-handprint-tree.html#

http://funhandprintart.blogspot.ca/2011/12/adorable-handprint-christmas-tree.html

http://funhandprintart.blogspot.ca/2011/12/adorable-handprint-christmas-tree.html

http://onceamonthmom.com/homemade-handprint-ornaments/

http://www.nestofposies-blog.com/2011/11/salt-dough-handprint-ornaments.html

http://517creations.blogspot.ca/2011/12/late-christmas-craft.html

http://www.allyshints.com/2011/12/handprint-christmas-ornaments-another-fun-gift/

http://funhandprintart.blogspot.ca/2011/12/footprint-mistletoes-diy-decorative.html

Green and red paint, yellow marker.

I'm sure I'll find more along the way, and I'll keep adding to it.  But this should give all of you something to do during that super-long Christmas break that is coming up!!  (Stock up on supplies now before the stores get even MORE chaotic!!)

Have fun!!  :)

Sugar-Free Chocolate Cake for The Boy

Baking fairy  :)

So my Little Daughter is having her 2nd birthday party this coming Saturday at my In-Law's house.  (I love them, they are amazing.)  We're ordering a cake for her from a place in town because of the number of people that will be attending would cause me to have to spend 2 days baking, and I have no time for that.  Plus, the cakes we buy there have always been great.  (They cost too much, but they know that no one in the world has that much time or toy-free space to work in, and we're screwed if we don't get one there.  They could probably charge twice the amount, and some of us would still get our cakes there out of nothing but desperation.)

Anyway, because our son can't have refined sugars (and I'm not even trying the substitutes because they aren't healthy for ANYone), I have been in kind of a pickle.  What do I do about him not getting any cake?  Doesn't seem fair that he'll have like 25 people around him eating it, but he can't.  He's four.  I'm not about to let that happen.  So I did some research and found a recipe that looks like it has some serious potential to be tweaked into an edible sugar-free chocolate cake.
**I do want to mention that I'm writing this in trust that the recipe and additional information I found will work out.  I don't KNOW if it is going to work well, yet, but will update with how it worked out.**

Here's the recipe, and I found it HERE:

Oven preheated to 375 degrees. Square 8" pan greased and ready to go.

1 1/2 cups flour

1 cup sugar

1/3 cup of cocoa powder

1 teaspoon of baking soda

1/2 teaspoon of salt

Mix together in a bowl. Add to the dry these mixed wet ingredients:

1 cup of water

1/4 cup of vegetable oil

1 tablespoon of white vinegar

2 teaspoons of vanilla

Bake for 30 minutes. Let cool in the pan for ten minutes, then removed from the pan to cool on a rack.

This cake gets that reddish tinge from the cocoa powder, where red velvet cake possibly originated from. The baking soda and the vinegar react to form this great squishy cake. You need the vinegar to activate the baking soda. You won't taste it!

Now I'm going to have to replace the sugar with honey.
How much honey does it take to replace a cup of sugar?  Oh, I looked that up too.  (I found the following information HERE.)

How should I alter my recipe?

1.  Use Less Honey:  I’m sure you realize that honey is much sweeter than sugar, so in recipes you need to use 1/3 less to achieve the same results.

2.  Reduce Liquids:  Unlike sugar, honey contains water, so reduce the liquids to about 1/5.  In addition, you might add a small amount of extra flour and baking soda if you are baking a cake, for instance.  This will help it to rise up nicely.

Another good quality of honey is that not only does it contain water, but it actually attracts moisture.  This is a great thing for baking because your cakes will stay fresh and moist.

3.  Adjust Your Oven Temperature:  Also, cakes and breads made with honey are much better looking than cakes made with sugar.  You will find that the cakes and breads are a nice rich, golden brown color.   Adjust your oven temperature down alittle (350 down to 325) to make sure your cakes aren’t too brown.  As each oven is different, start out with a small adjustment and change it if you need to next time.

What Kind Of Honey Should I use For Baking?:

For baking, it is best to choose a mild honey, like blossom.  The clearer the honey, the easier it is to use for baking because the flavor is generally milder than darker honeys, so it won’t interfere with the flavors you’re trying to obtain.

Well, "honey fanatic", I'm using organic raw honey.  It's fantastic, and has a more mild taste than the nasty honey I bought the last time.  *You can read about it HERE.*

Organic, raw honey

FTR, when it comes to helping my son find a way to navigate his life without refined sugars, I can completely and fully set aside my own beliefs in veganism.  The truth is I would do anything for any one of my kids, no matter what.  No. Matter. What.

Now...frosting.  (It's NOT cake without frosting!!)  I found this recipe HERE.

Healthy Chocolate Buttercream Frosting

Total Time: 10 minutes

Yield: 1 cup frosting

~This Chocolate Buttercream uses healthy, whole-food ingredients. Sugar-Free, Dairy-Free, Soy-Free, Nut-Free (when using sunflower butter), Gluten-Free, Paleo, and Vegan.

Ingredients

• 2/3 cup mashed sweet potato*
• 1/4-1/2 cup pitted dates
• 1/4 cup cocoa powder
• 3 Tablespoons coconut oil
• 2 Tablespoons nutbutter of choice (I used sunflower seed butter. Tahini or almond will also work well)
• 1/2 cup dairy-free milk (coconut or almond work well)
• 1 teaspoon vanilla

Instructions

1. In a saucepan, melt the coconut oil. Whisk in the cocoa powder to create a chocolate syrup.
2. In a blender or food processor, blend together the dates and milk to create a sweet milk. Blend until smooth. More dates will create a sweeter frosting, less dates will create a darker frosting.
3. Add the sweet potato, nut butter, and vanilla to the blender and blend until smooth.
4. Stir in chocolate-coconut syrup mix until well-incorporated and smooth.
5. Use right away or keep in fridge until later use. The frosting will become more firm while in fridge.

Notes

*I used baked sweet potatoes and take the skin off before mashing.

~Now, we don't have Coconut oil.  GASP!  I know.  Crazy.  So I'll be substituting margarine for that...unless I go all nuts shopping and just spend the $12 for a jar of C.O.
~As for "nut butter", I'll be using peanut butter.  The Boy is a super-fan.

~Also, I'll be using regular 3% milk, not almond milk.  I buy the "vanilla" almond milk, and that is sweetened.  I'm not doing all of this so the almond milk can mess it all up.

Clearly I'm going to be cooking some sweet potatoes, and stopping at the Bulk Barn to get some supplies.  I have some real work ahead of me. LOL I hope the Baking Fairies help me out.  Baking has never really been my strong point, but this amazing little boy deserves to have something that makes him feel special, and not just "different".

  *fingers crossed!!*

Another Baking Fairy.  LOL