Fenugreek Seeds...My Own Personal Experience

So I bought some fenugreek seeds at the grocery store.  I went online and found this on ehow.com:

Use fenugreek to increase milk supply. Fenugreek has been shown to increase milk production in lactating women. A 2000 Swafford study found that the use of fenugreek "significantly increased" the volume of breast milk that women were able to produce. To increase your milk supply using fenugreek, take two to four 580 mg capsules of fenugreek three times per day. Fenugreek powder can also be used to increase milk supply by mixing one tablespoon powder with 1/4 cup juice three times a day.


And this, on Kellymom.com:

Suggested dosage

capsules (580-610 mg)	2-4 capsules, 3 times per day 6-12 capsules (total) per day ~1200-2400 mg, 3 times per day (3.5-7.3 grams/day) German Commission E recommends a daily intake of 6 grams
capsules (500 mg)	7-14 capsules (total) per day
powder or seeds	1/2 - 1 teaspoon, 3 times per day 1 capsule = 1/4 teaspoon can be mixed with a little water or juice
tincture	1-2 mL, 3 times per day (or see package directions)
tea	one cup of tea, 2-3 times per day

I'm  having some serious supply issues lately.  We've been through some extreme stress and sadness in our family over the past few months, and even taking four Domperidone a day, I'm barely making enough to make the baby happy, and she's only having about 4 very wet diapers a day, no matter how often I put her to breast.  (Before this, I took two pills, three days a week, and it was more than enough.)  I've had to start giving her water in a sippy cup after having her on the breast, because she's just not satisfied at all.  I know all too well that she needs to be on the boob as much as possible to increase my supply and I've tried that, but nothing is improving.  So for now she's getting boob throughout the day and during the night, and getting water when she needs it.  It's hard not to feel like I'm failing her.

Only because I am determined, because I know she deserves only the very best, I am trying something new.  I want to go to a MINIMUM of two years with her (and she just turned a year old on November 26th).  Ideally she could breastfeed as long as she'd like to, and she'd be closer to three or four before she stopped.  But at this rate, I'm afraid she won't make it to 18 months.

I've never used fenugreek seed, though I have tried that breast milk tea that has fenugreek in it.  (That tea didn't work for me, but it's probably because I couldn't get it in my mouth...my nose kept stopping me...that stuff smelled like ASS.)  I'm going out tomorrow to get myself a grinder so I can follow the instructions I saw on ehow.com, and we'll see how that goes.

This is what "Breastfeeding Online" has to say about it;

" Fenugreek seeds contain hormone precursors that increase milk supply. Scientists do not know for sure how this happens. Some believe it is possible because breasts are modified sweat glands, and fenugreek stimulates sweat production. It has been found that fenugreek can increase a nursing mother's milk supply within 24 to 72 hours after first taking the herb. Once an adequate level of milk production is reached, most women can discontinue the fenugreek and maintain the milk supply with adequate breast stimulation. Many women today take fenugreek in a pill form (ground seeds placed in capsules). The pills can be found at most vitamin and nutrition stores and at many supermarkets and natural foods stores. Fenugreek can also be taken in tea form, although tea is believed to be less potent than the pills and the tea comes with a bitter taste that can be hard to stomach. Fenugreek is not right for everyone. The herb has caused aggravated asthma symptoms in some women and has lowered blood glucose levels in some women with diabetes. "

And here's something interesting, it also says this;

"Little Known Uses

Fenugreek has an age old reputation as a breast enlarger and contains diosgenin which is used to make synthetic estrogen and has been shown to promote the growth of breast cells. You can drink fenugreek as a tea, use it in yogurt, applesauce or soups, or make a light mixture with any lotion and massage it directly into the breasts. It may also aid in increasing sexual desire in women as well as increasing breast beauty and health. Fenugreek contains choline which may aid the thinking process, and antioxidants that slow aging and help prevent disease. It is also helpful in calming PMS and symptoms of menopause. Fenugreek is also considered to be an aphrodiasiac and rejuvenator."

This post is going to be a record of my experience with it.



January 18th, 2012:

I have purchased a bud buster...I mean...a coffee grinder.  Hahahaha...Oh times have changed...

$15 at Zellers.  Pretty basic, but will work just fine to grind seeds.

January 19th, 2012:

Okay, so I put 1 1/2 tsp into a yogurt cup.  GROSSSSS!!!  I felt like I was on Fear Factor.  My BIL stood there and watched me take the first bite, and was for whatever reason, compelled to put his finger into what I had ground up, to taste it.
Oh man, I wish I'd had that on video!  Hahaha!  He spit into the sink, wiped his tongue on his sleeve, and got a drink of water.

Yeah, that shit is nasty.

So...I'm posting this HOPING some of you can give me some advice on how I'm supposed to take this when it tastes so gross.  Please comment on the wall under the link for this post.

Thank you in advance for any help!
xoxo

Things That Piss Me Off...Butthurts

Please stop it.

Oh, the dramaz...  I have a whole list of things that piss me off, but after the dramazzzz that I've had to deal with on the page wall (I posted that link to the page, but removed the bullcrap), I'm going to address one of my least favorite things.  Butthurts. 

Don't know what that means?  Oh, let me explain it.  It's when someone gets all bent out of shape over something that was not in fact even directed at them, and they lash out like a nut.  (Such as my putting up a post about yelling being abuse, and then someone getting all cranky because they internalized it, and felt "attacked" by it...even though I don't even KNOW THEM in real life, so could not POSSIBLY know what's going on in their home.)  It's pretty impossible for me to write posts about people I don't know...but this person got all upset about it anyway...even though it was that person who stepped forward on their own accord, and said openly that they "regularly yell" at their 4 year old son, and if they hadn't, no one would have even known.  (Well, maybe the neighbors...but I'd never have known.  And neither would have 600+ other people on the page wall.)

I guess if I was openly admitting to disrespecting someone that looks up to me and saying that I don't want to change my bad behavior, I'd probably get mad about someone telling me that I was not doing what's best for my child too.  No one wants to be told that their behavior is inappropriate, even when it is.  And I'm sure that finding out that what I was doing was actually abusive would probably piss me right off.  (Since if I was this kind of person, clearly anger is my go-to emotion.)

Here is a definition from the Urban Dictionary for "Butthurt":

ButtHurt

An inappropriately strong negative emotional response from a perceived personal insult. Characterized by strong feelings of shame. Frequently associated with a cessation of communication and overt hostility towards the "aggressor."

I learned to swallow my pride a long time ago...not long after having children. Before I had kids, I had all the answers.  (Well, I sure thought I did.)  Then I had twins and realized that I didn't.  Infact, I didn't even know all the questions!  So as I've walked this parenting journey, I've come to find out that sometimes what I thought was right; what I thought was best, was actually NOT what was right or best at all.  And if you know me, you'd know that I'd never intentionally do anything wrong (especially when it comes to my kids).  I'm one of those people that have to know everything there is to know, because the idea that I might not do a part of this parenting thing the best possible way is just terrifying to me.  I only get one shot at this.  I can't go back and have them re-live their childhood again, so it needs to be done right the first time.  But even I, the overly anal one, have made mistakes along the way!  And the reason it just freakin' irritates me so bad when someone stands and fight for their right to do something that has been proven NOT to be the best for ANY child, is because before I was able to put my own ego aside, it used to be me.

Once upon a time, I used to think that it was just fine to give my daughter formula, and I fought like a crazy person with these "thoughtless, judgmental bitches" who told me I was wrong.  They had a lot of NERVE saying that I was giving her poison, and that it was only one step above feeding her nothing.  (They were bitches when they said that I loved my breastfed son more than her because I gave her formula, though.  I'd still like to kick them in the neck for that one.)  But overall, when it came to the facts of formula, they were right.

It was only after I was able to grow the hell up and let go of my stupid ego that I actually did some real research.  And do you know what I found out?  I was wrong all along.
It made me cry.  A lot.
It still hurts knowing that I didn't do the very best for my daughter (even if I thought I was at the time), and she is such a wonderful gift...she deserved better.  If I knew more, I could have done better for her.  But there's no going back now.  There's nothing I can do to change the past...so I have made sure that the future would be different.  Even though my feelings were hurt by the truth, it remained the truth just the same.

This blog is about KNOWING better and then DOING better.  Not knowing better and ignoring the facts because pride depends on defending mistakes.  There's probably a blog out there like that, but it's not this one.  

I want to say, I'm not going to stop posting information on my blog...MY blog...that I think is important.  I'm not going to change my opinion on what does and does not constitute abuse, either.

There are facts, and there are opinions, and it is a FACT that yelling at children (more than once in a blue moon) is ABUSIVE.  I'm not going to sugar-coat the truth.  I'm not going to crap rainbows because someone can't handle the truth.  I have never been able to talk to adults like they're children, because they AREN'T.  I just assume that an adult is able to be spoken to like they're an adult, and can handle that.  Apparently it's not always the case, but I STILL can't talk to adults like their children.  And crapping rainbows sounds painful, so I won't be doing that anytime soon either.

2.0 WHAT IS ABUSE?  (taken from HERE)
definition, meaning, explanation, types, categories

Abuse can be physical, sexual, emotional or verbal; it is intimidation or manipulation of another person or an intrusion into another's psyche; the purpose is to control another person. It is generally a long term pattern of behavior although specific short term interactions can be labeled abusive. Recently the following categories have been included in definitions of abusive behavior: social, economic, intellectual andspiritual. With child abuse neglect is also an important component.

Abuse cuts across all social categories and classes. It occurs in well educated high income areas and in low income working class areas; it happens in all races and religions. It can occur in families, extended families, in neighborhoods, schools, churches, and community groups. Both men and women can be abusive and it can occur in virtually all age groups. The old can abuse the young and the young the old. While standards are different in various cultures, it occurs in virtually all countries as well.

Because it is often learned at an early age, it can be passed from generation to generation like a family disease. This is called theintergenerational cycle of abuse.

Abuse tends to happen to people in a weaker position or to those who are willing to be accommodating. Thus a stronger brother will abuse a weaker brother; an agreeable and supportive wife may be abused by her uncompromising husband; a teacher may pick on a student who is having learning problems; a spoiled teenage boy may manipulate a parent in an abusive manner.

This site, AbusiveLove.com, is primarily about verbal abuse although it discusses other abusive behaviors as well. It concentrates on verbal because most abusive behavior includes verbal elements and because words and tone of voice can be indentified and changed more easily than other kinds. Attacking and changing abusive verbal behavior will go a long way to preventing other abusive problems.  (Bold and underline put in by ME.)

I found the following HERE, and I could not love it MORE:

KIDS’ BILL OF RIGHTS  A child has the right to live without being sexually molested, sexually harassed, or used in any way. A child has the right to live in a safe environment.  A child has the right to have a parent(s) or guardian(s) who care(s) about him/her. A child has the right to live without physical or verbal abuse, including criticism and yelling. A child has the right to eat three meals a day, wear clean, warm clothing, and have a roof over his head. A child has the right to privacy as soon as he/she requests it. A child has the right to an education (with or without a home, birth certificate, or immunizations) where he/she will be treated as equal to his peers and respected by adults, without verbal or physical abuse from adults or peers. A child has the right to ask questions so she/he can learn about the world. A child has the right to be disciplined without violence. A child has the right to be included in a group no matter what his race, religion, or handicap.

No society will ever rise higher than its weakest, smallest members.  Unless they are lifted too, they will pull society down.  -Kidsread

HOW TO KEEP DISCIPLINE WITHOUT YELLING OR SCREAMING

NO  YELLING AT HOME (You decide what works for you)
Yelling in the home is okay if, a) a train has crashed into your living room, b) your children have turned into werewolves, or c) scary aliens have landed on your roof. 
Let's face it.  There is never going to be absolute quiet for long periods of time in a home with happy children (although some children are more calm and quiet than others).  If you are one of those people who requires absolute quiet and you have children, then it's time to have earplugs surgically implanted in your ears.  A certain amount of tolerance is necessary, and a certain amount of facing reality, but when you get to the point that you are becoming irritable don't yell, try one of the following:

• One Mom who needed peace and quiet taped a sign on a tank vacuum cleaner that said, "Noise Eating Machine."  She turned it on and tapped each kid gently on the head, pretending she was vacuuming up the noise."  After they were quiet they all got a cookie.  Soon the kids were also playing the game.
• Make a rule about "indoor voices" and "outdoor voices."  Indoor voices are normal sound levels.  Outdoor voices can include shouting if it is for playing, not fighting.
• When using the phone and you can't hear, raise your hand high and then point to the phone, or with a portable phone wave bye-bye, point to the phone, and walk out of the room.  Use exaggerated facial expressions of mock dismay, or pretend crying.  
• If kids are in the habit of shouting to get your attention tell them, "I can't answer until you use a normal voice."
• If they shout from upstairs while you are downstairs tell them, "I'm down here and I can't hear you."  They'll come down and say, "then how did you know I was talking?"  You say, "I didn't, I thought it was a lion roaring."
• Tell them, "As soon as it's quiet I can tell you what we're going to do."
• When serving food or treats say, "The quietest kids get theirs first."
• Take the kids to the park, or send them outside to play (in rural suburbs first check for snakes, scorpions, or other danger).

HERE is another wonderful article on yelling at children BEING ABUSE, from Livestrong.com.  Below is a section of the article.

"Growing up in an environment filled with loud voices can cripple your mental health. Consider that "good" things are rarely shouted, while negative, soul-crushing epithets are lifted to the heavens. A child has no choice but to hear because he has no escape. He cannot hail a cab or hop a bus away from home. This captive victim instead stays for years as the long-term effects of yelling shape his mind."

HERE is yet another one, found in the NY Times.   A little bit of the article is below.

"Researchers are trying to codify the definition of emotional abuse while, at the same time, understanding more about its effects. A study in the July 2001 issue of The American Journal of Psychiatry that compared 49 subjects with depersonalization disorder with 26 emotionally healthy subjects, found that emotional abuse was the most significant predictor of mental illness, more so than sexual and physical abuse."

Now, to those who feel like their yelling is "normal", or "not abuse", I say this; Would you allow another person to speak to your child the way you do? Would you allow someone to speak to YOU the way you speak to your child? If the answer is no, then you have to ask yourself why it is that you feel that you have the right to speak to your child that way, and what is it that you hope to gain from talking to them like that?  

In the end, what I really wanted to get across is that YES, screaming at your kids IS ABUSE, whether this fact hurts your feelings or not. Facts are facts.

If you yell TO your child, or OVER the voices of your other children, THAT is not the same as yelling AT your child.  And yelling at them once ever, because you're afraid (like if they run into a busy street), is different than yelling at them because you "lost patience after nicely telling them something 50 times", and that's happening on a regular basis.  Yelling to get away from the stove is not the same as yelling out of frustration.  There is a huge difference between constantly yelling at your child, and yelling because you just don't have those awesome go-go-Gadget-arms, or the ability to fly.  (Did I just date myself there with that Inspector Gadget reference?)

Our children are smaller than we are (atleast for a while).  Their inability to fight back is not an excuse to mistreat them.  Its all the more reason to treat them well.  They need to be protected, not taken advantage of.  Respect is not gained by inflicting fear.  It's earned.  Give respect, get respect.


In closing, I don't appreciate it when someone gets all crabby because I can show proof that constantly yelling at children is abusive.  If anyone wants to defend their yelling, tell it to someone else because I don't want to hear it.  There's nothing anyone is ever going to say that is going to suddenly make me see that side as right, and no matter what I'm never going to wake up and say "Oh, you are so right.  Yelling at kids is just fine...despite the proof otherwise.  I think I'll go home and scream at mine right now.  I sure don't want to raise brats.  Eff respect, they need fear! Mmwooohahahahahaha!"
Yeah.  Not gonna happen.
 

No society will ever rise higher than its weakest, smallest members. Unless they are lifted too, they will pull society down. -Kidsread

And for the record:

Just sayin'.

LOL  Have a good one.  ; )

Constant Yelling Can Be Just As Harmful to Children as Physical Abuse

I'm sure this information is no surprise to most of us, but for those that think it's just fine to SCREAM at your kids all the damned time, here's some information for you.


Taken from HERE. 

What does the research show?

Most parents, even the most patient ones, lose their temper and yell at their children. According to a 2003 study published in The Journal of Marriage and Family, 88 percent of the 991 families interviewed admitted shouting, yelling or screaming at their children in the previous year. That percentage jumped to 98 percent in families with 7-year-old children.

While occasional yelling is common in American families, parents who constantly yell at their children are subjecting their children to emotional abuse that researchers say can be as harmful as physical abuse. A 2001 study in the American Journal of Psychiatry involving 49 people with depersonalization disorder (a mental disorder in which a person has a feeling of detachment or estrangement from one’s self) and 26 emotionally healthy people, found that yelling and other forms of emotional abuse was a more significant predictor of mental illness than sexual and physical abuse.

Besides being potentially harmful if overused, yelling is often ineffective. “Children can become immune to being yelled at and start to tune it out,” according to psychologist Myrna B. Shure, Ph.D., of Drexel University. Dr. Shure’s research shows that parents whose only way of disciplining their children is by yelling, demanding or commanding have children that at age four or five are more likely to display physical or verbal aggression, social withdrawal, and a lack of positive/prosocial behaviors, such as sharing and empathy. She says instead of yelling, which makes children feel angry and frustrated, parents should use a problem-solving approach in which children are taught to think about their own and others’ feelings. For example, if your children will not pick up their toys, ask them to think of how you feel when they won’t pick up the toys. Then ask them to think of something they can do so you won’t feel that way. This approach can have large and long-lasting effects on children's behavior (see http://www.psychologymatters.org/shure.html andhttp://www.thinkingchild.com).

How do these findings relate to ACT?

The ACT program recommends that the best way for parents to prevent negative behaviors in their children is to support positive behaviors. Parents may be less tempted to yell at their children if they talk to their children about simple rules about behavior, and then put them into action. After setting up the rules, parents can guide children using some of the following approaches:

• Let children know what you expect, with simple statements. “Please put away your toys right now.”
• Give warnings and reminders, without threats. “When you put away your toys, then you can go outside with your friends.”
• Tell a child what to do rather than what not to do. “Please use a soft voice,” instead of “Stop yelling!”
• Follow through with praise for following instructions or consequences for disobeying.

It is normal for adults to get angry; but it is important to learn to recognize angry feelings and to learn and practice positive ways of dealing with them. For specific anger-management steps, read the ACT handout: "Helping Adults Manage Their Angry Feelings" (http://www.actagainstviolence.org/materials/handouts/FamilyAM1.pdf).

Citations:

Simeon, D., Guralnik, O., Schmeidler, J., Sirof, B., & Knutelska, M. (2001). The role of childhood interpersonal trauma in depersonalization disorder.American Journal of Psychiatry, Vol. 158, pp. 1027-1033.

Straus, M.A., & Field, C.J. (2003). Psychological aggression by American parents: National data on prevalence, chronicity, and severity. Journal of Marriage & Family, Vol. 65, pp. 795-808.

Shure, M.B. (2005). Thinking Parent, thinking child. New York: McGraw-Hill.

If you can't handle your kids without yelling at them all the time, it's YOU who needs to change.  They are CHILDREN, and they get ONE childhood.  You get ONE chance to do this right.  If you can't do it the way it needs to be done, admit it, and seek help.  Please.

Your children deserve the very best life.  Living in fear is no way to live.

**And to those who are all butthurt about this article that states that screaming at children regularly is abuse, I suggest you read THIS post, and perhaps grow up and move on.  Obsessing over this one post makes you look crazy.  Bye bye now!**

Another Thrush Post...This One Is From Experience

So, the last time I posted some info on thrush, it was from research...not first-hand experience.  Now, thanks to my baby's first illness, I speak from experience.

My daughter is 13 months old, and just got over thrush.  She's never had a drop of formula in her life.  Not one.  Other than being breastfed about 30 times a day, she's eating solids and drinking some water from a sippy cup or bottle if she needs it.  (I'm just not making milk like I used to, no matter how much I put her on the boob or what else I do, so sometimes she really does need a drink of water.)

Anyways, when she turned up with thrush (Oral candidiasis), my husband started asking me how she "caught" it.  I explained to him that they don't "catch" it, and that we ALL have that yeast in our mouths all the time.  I told him that when someone's immune system is low, or they're on antibiotics, the natural yeast can go a bit crazy and cause thrush.  Our daughter had just been sick for the first time a few weeks ago (we all were), and I'm sure it beat the hell out of her immune system.  It was ROUGH, and we all suffered for two weeks with it.  (Three adults and three kids all sick at once.  Super fun.)

I can't help but laugh at all of the old wives tales I've heard about thrush since Little Miss got it.  And I'm here to call bullshit.

Thrush is not caused by bottles.  It's not caused by pacifiers.  Kids don't catch it from being around other kids who have it.  As I said, it's caused by yeast over-growth, and THAT is caused by use of antibiotics, or by a lowered immune system.  And it can be passed from baby to your boob, and if your boob isn't washed everyday, or if you re-use the same (contaminated) bra, you and baby can pass it back and forth...for however long it takes for you to realize what's happening!

I found it pretty easy to deal with, compared to how I'd imagined it.  Wash those boobs, wear a clean bra everyday and wash the old one in hot water before re-using it, and let those boobies air out.  Sunshine kills yeast, and airing those boobies out can kill that yeast pretty easy.  You can hang your bra in the sunshine and kill yeast too...(this is also done with cloth diapers to sterilize them, right?).  You don't have to just lay in your backyard letting it all hang out (though more power to you if you want to, LOL).  You can just sit in a chair in your house located in some sunshine.  

Now, that said, the back of my house points at a condo, and the front faces a busy street...so I wasn't about to sit in my kitchen window with the girls hanging out...and we've recently acquired a house guest for the next little while, I did my topless time in the bedroom.  No sunshine, but it didn't seem to matter.
I picked up gentian violet at the pharmacy but never used it, and now after reading the below information, I'm glad!

 I read this on the "Ask Dr.Sears" website (found HERE):

"Warning - gentian violet has been used for many years to treat thrush. A recent study done in Australia has linked gentian violet to cancer of the mouth. However, many other professionals around the world believe that it is safe, and continue to recommend it. For this reason, we suggest you use this remedy sparingly, and for as little time as possible."

What I ended up doing was taking the advice of one of my readers...I took garlic pills, zinc, and kept up with my Vitamin B & C that I always take daily anyway.  Oh, and the 40 gallons of yogurt the baby and I ate!  (Not really...but it sure seemed like that much!)
I ALSO gave her the anti-fungal drops 4 times a day for the week, and by the end of that week, the baby was thrush-free.  (If she hadn't had such a high fever for so long, I'd never have used the anti-fungal, but because of her age I wasn't going to mess around with it.)

And, as I was discussing on the Facebook wall, I can't say for certain whether or not it could be possible for formula to cause thrush.  The truth is that we don't know 100% what is in every single can.  It's not uncommon for formula companies to recall it because something is in it that shouldn't be there.  What's to say that none of that could possibly cause an overgrowth of natural yeast?

What I CAN say, though, is that without a doubt formula causes thrush to go crazy.  It's full of sugars and is milk-based, and everything I've read on thrush is that it feeds on the sugars in dairy...so babies shouldn't be given any dairy products other than yogurt for as long as two weeks after the initial break-out.  It only makes sense that thrush would LOOOOVE to feed on the formula that coats the inside of a baby's mouth.

(I had a formula-fed baby [after she was 4 months old], so I'm not hating on you...just pointing something out.)


The major thing I wanted to get across here is that thrush is not caused by YOU.  You didn't do anything wrong.  It was NOT from "improperly sterilizing bottles", it's not from Baby finding a pacifier under the couch that has been there for God-knows-how-long, and it's not caused by your boobs.  It's caused by the overgrowth of this ever-present yeast.  Without a doubt, once infected, it's possible to get into a cycle of re-infection if things aren't cleaned and dried properly, but it's NOT how it STARTED.  And that's the main point here.

Also, when my Dr. checked my daughter, he said that thrush does not cause fevers in children.  HERE it proves otherwise.  Clearly her thrush extended past her esophagus, which is why she had a high fever for 3 days, until she started the anti-fungal.  (Have I mentioned my Dr. is an ASS?!)

Here are some articles on thrush:

Ask Dr. Sears:  http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/childhood-illnesses/thrush
The Portable Pediatrician:  Look under "Oral Thrush"
Medicine Net.com:  http://www.medicinenet.com/thrush/article.htm
Breastfeeding Essentials:  http://breastfeeding.hypermart.net/thrush.html

The story behind this little thrush thing is...interesting.

We took the baby to the Dr. at 10:30am to get checked out (if she hadn't had a fever for 3 straight days we wouldn't have gone), and the Dr. said she had "tonsillitis and thrush".  He said he'd call in a prescription for me right away.  That was the last day his office was open before Christmas, and it closed at noon that day.
I went to the pharmacy to pick it up and found he hadn't yet called it in.
An hour later it still had not been called in.
Another half hour later, the pharmacist sent a fax to his office to tell him that the prescription hadn't been called in (because it was 6 minutes after noon, and the phones at the office were turned off).

Nothing.

He never called it in at all.  The pharmacy closed at 6pm, so I knew we were out of time, and were running low on options.  At 6:30pm my husband drove myself and the baby up to the Emergency Room.

We sat there (in a room) for 2 1/2 hours before we even saw a Dr.  She looked in Baby Girl's mouth and said straight out, she does NOT have tonsillitis.  She said that babies this age do not even get tonsillitis.  She said that the baby had very bad thrush, and that's it.  She also was the only one to mention that I would need to treat myself to avoid passing it back and forth with the baby (my own Dr. failed to mention that).

I told the Emergency room Dr. about my family Dr. not calling in a prescription, and told her that he had said that Baby Girl had tonsillitis, and her excuse was that he is "getting older, and is overworked."
Now, call me a bitch if you want to, but I don't give a flying monkey's butt HOW old he is, or HOW "over-worked" he is.  If he's practicing medicine, he need to be ON TOP OF HIS GAME, or he needs to stop.  NOW.  My little one is a BABY and this is not the first time he's done this to one of my kids.

(As soon as I can actually contact him, I'm going to tell him that I want to be referred to another Dr. ASAP, or I will be contacting Health Canada, and whoever else I need to talk to, and put in a report against him.)

So anyways, after what was 3 hours in the hospital, we finally got to go home...after we stopped at the 24-hour pharmacy to pick up the prescription.
I'm somewhat glad that Dr.Ass didn't call in the prescription, really.  He'd have given her penicillin for no reason at all, and it would have no doubt given her a bladder infection.  (Gotta love antibiotics!)

In closing, thrush is no big deal...normally.  If you're getting factual information on it, it helps.  LOL  And if your Dr. isn't a complete ass, that helps too.

Next time I'll take the all-natural route and skip that shit-show all together.  Can you blame me?!

**For the record, I want to say that I don't think that EVERY baby is the same, and that sometimes what works for one, won't work for the next.  I'm not a Dr., and don't pretend to be...I'm just a mom.  Nothing I write is medical advice, and is only my own experience and/or written from research I've done.
I also don't want to say that there has NEVER in the history of mankind been a baby who got thrush from a dirty bottle, but from everything I've read, it's just not how it happens.  If you think that's what caused it in your baby, that's fine.  I'll agree to disagree with you.  Maybe you're right.  Maybe you're not.  I'm not going to argue about it.**

Why I Hate Sleep

I used to be a sleeper.  I hadn't slept for so many years before I met my husband, I think I was making up for it.  I don't even remember really dreaming...but before I got pregnant with my twins, I'll admit (since anyone who knows me in real life already know!), I used to smoke my fair share of pot.  As soon as I took my first round of fertility treatments, I stopped cold-turkey, determined that my children would get a mom that was completely present.  A lot of my own childhood was one I wouldn't wish on anyone, and being clean and sober was part of making sure that wouldn't be re-played with my own children.  (I haven't touched anything stronger than an Ultra-Strength Tylenol in over 4 years.  I have strong views on the childhood my own kids will get, and there's nothing in this world that would ever sway me from it.)

So as I was saying, I used to sleep.  Then I had the twins.
When they were born, we had to leave them behind in the NICU and go home without them.  I couldn't sleep.  How could I?!  I was terrified that if I slept, something would happen to them...that if it wasn't for my hourly phone calls to the hospital, their fate would be sealed...and not in a good way.
I never slept more than an hour at a time during the 6 weeks they were in the NICU without me.  Then, I moved into the "Care By Parent" unit of the NICU with them for the last 16 days.
It didn't take long for me to figure out that the 5 or so hours of broken sleep I was getting at home was a WALK IN THE PARK compared to the 3 hours of sleep I was getting in the hospital!
(The only difference was that in the hospital, with the babies right next to me in their cots, hooked to monitors, I could get that 3 hours of sleep all in a row...which is more time than I'd slept in one stretch than I had in a LONG time.)

When we took them home they were still on an every-three-hour feeding schedule, around the clock.  And, if you've never been on one, I'll explain to you that it means every 3 hours from the start of one feed, to the start of the next feed.  Even if it takes 45 mins. to feed the baby.  Even when there are two.  So, I'd feed one for 1/2 an hour to 45 mins., then put them back to bed.  I'd wake the next one, feed them for 1/2 an hour to 45 mins., and put them back to bed.  Then I'd pump (for the first 4 months), or make up the next bottle for my daughter (after 4 months), before going back to bed for what ended up being roughly an hour.  Then I'd get up and do it all again.
They had this schedule for 6 months after they came home (until they were 8 1/2 months old).  My husband works shifts, and was working 14 hour days after they came home, so I was doing all the feeds myself.
In total, I would sleep 3 hours every 24 hours...in three 1-hour spurts.
Even after we were given the okay to let them sleep 4-5 hours between feeds, I was still up every hour on the hour, checking to make sure they were alive.  I couldn't help it.  I'd seen them both so close to dying so many times...

Anyways, they never slept through the night until they were 16 months old.  (And when they did "sleep through the night, it was for 6 hours.)  I'd learned to go on very little sleep, so when our 3rd child was born a month before the twins turned 2 1/2, I had no problem with the night-feedings.
I had no problems with her waking up at night, then having to get up early with the twins in the morning.  I don't mind not getting a ton of sleep...and I'll tell you why.

Since having kids, I'm having nightmares again. And not just a bad dream about being chased by a monster or whatever, it's always horrible dreams about something happening to one of the kids. I dream that someone steals one of them, or we lose one of them...and lately I've been dreaming about the baby. I've been having nightmares that she's falling down the basement stairs, that someone steals her, or that she disappears from a store, that she dies. Last night I dreamed that Children's Aid came and took her away to give her back to her real mom. And even though I know, logically, that I gave birth to her, there is still nothing more upsetting for me than imagining that for whatever reason, these kids wouldn't be here everyday when I wake up.

I don't know if it's because for the first time in years I'm really getting some real sleep, or if it's because of the insanity that has been our lives for the last couple of months is now settling down and my brain is still stuck in crisis mode, or what.  But I don't like it.  And it makes me hate sleeping.

For as long as I can remember I've had nightmares, and only waking up every couple of hours during the night, or not sleeping for any real stretch of time, can keep me from having them.  Only during those years that I smoked my body weight in pot everyday, could I sleep without worrying about having a horrible nightmare.

Even as a kid I remember having a nightmare about my mom killing my dad and brother, and telling me that she wouldn't kill me if I didn't tell...
I remember dreaming about "killers" sneaking into my house, and I had to hide my brother under the leaves in our backyard so they wouldn't find him...and there was nowhere for me to hide...
And that re-occurring nightmare about falling down basement stairs and seeing the shadow of a man at the top of the stairs...I'd wake up before hitting the bottom.  I had that dream EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. for years and years before it stopped suddenly.  (I'll get into that another day.)

I don't know.  I don't really get why I have the nightmares I have, but it's probably a mixture of stress and going to bed thinking about things that are best thought about during the daylight hours.  I think I need to also stay the heck off of the internet around bedtime and maybe stay off the Nancy Grace Facebook page all together.  (You'll see a disturbing trend on there if you look...)

Anyway, I'm going to get off of here and have a tea party with my little pants-less fireman, my "Christmas Dora", and the "Pink" princess.   LOL

Hopefully tonight will be different.

The World Needs To See This

As much as I wish this wasn't the way it is, it just is.  Television doesn't show circumcision the way it needs to be seen.  It doesn't show it for what it is.  This video really needs to be seen by everyone.  Maybe it would make it sink in a bit more...make people understand why they think the way they do about circumcision.  It's been treated as a joke, and it's SO not a joke.

My hope is that one day people will be overwhelmed with facts, and no longer be able to ignore them.

And I have a dream.  I dream that one day we won't have to even discuss this, because it'll just be common knowledge that circumcision is a violation of a child's human rights...and all people, regardless of age, gender, race, or religion, have rights and should be protected from genital cutting.  All people have the right to genital autonomy.  ALL people.

I dream of a world that knows our children are born perfect exactly the way they are, and don't need to be "fixed" by mutilating their bodies without their consent, and most often, as they scream for help only to be ignored.

I dream of a world where mothers will follow their instinct to protect their young, and never ever ignore that to please an adult.

I dream that one day I will be able to be excited when I hear of people having a son, instead of feeling this horrible dread...did I tell them enough information?  Did they listen?  Are they going to ignore the facts and listen to the lies and old wives tales they've been told?

I dream of a world where babies aren't strapped down to a table and have their foreskin clamped, torn, and then cut away, when they should instead be safe in the arms of their loved ones being told just how perfect they are.

I believe that all dreams can come true, and that a few small voices can make a big difference.  We need to stand together and fight for the rights of the people who are unable to say NO, but who deserve to live their lives with their WHOLE body, perfect and complete, as they were designed.  The inability to say no does not mean yes.

Babies are born perfect.  Lets keep them that way.

I want to warn you, this is graphic.  But it needs to be seen.  Circumcision is graphic, and is a reality for millions of baby boys every year.  If these tiny newly born babies are forced to live it, it's only fair that adults are forced to see it for what it really is.

Family Get-Togethers...Gotta Love 'em

So, as promised, I'm writing a post on some of the heartwarming moments at some family gatherings this holiday season.

Before I get too into this, I want to point out that I'm a big believer in letting things go...not holding a grudge.  I think the holidays are the perfect time to let bygones be bygones, and just enjoy the opportunity to be with family.  I'm old enough to know that when you put a large group of people together in a space normally only used by 2 or 3 people, and then add alcohol, there's going to be atleast a few things said that would have been best left in the vault.  But, like I said, I try very hard not to hold grudges.  And on top of that, I know that my husband and I are living our lives completely differently than our family members have.  We're crunchy, they're not.  And I've put in more time researching our choices than they have ever spent researching theirs (pretty sure they haven't spent one single second looking up any information to back up their opinions).  And so I can go into these family functions and normally just let their words just go in one ear and out the other.
It's only a couple of times a year I have to deal with these people...the world won't end if I have to smile and nod when every fiber of my being wants to start handing out "stupid" signs.

So, even though I am going to complain about family, I DO love them...even though they do say things that aren't very thoughtful.  I'm big enough to let it go...once I've bitched about it.  LOL



First there was the phonecall from my mom.  (Not technically a gathering, but still related to the holidays...otherwise she wouldn't have called.)
One of the first thing she asked me was "Are you still nursing that baby?"
Well, yes.  I am.  She only just turned 13 months old on Boxing Day.  I plan to go to a MINIMUM of two years, and she'll be choosing for herself when she's done.  She started solids when she was ready, she'll nurse until she wants to stop, and she'll be in my bed until she wants her own.
My mother just can't understand why I'm "still nursing [a baby that can walk]".  I think really that's her big problem with it.  The baby can walk over to me and say "bub bub" (which to her, means boob).  My mom says she thinks it's time I "stopped this silliness".
Uh...what?
Yeah.  I'll get right on that...
(or NOT.)

She started this non-stop complaining about my breastfeeding when the baby was about 6 months old.  (It was the same with my son.)  At the time I told her that the baby would have to be on formula for at least another 6 months, and she'll give me the pissed off sigh, and say "Yeah, I guess." 
Why she cares so much, I just don't know.  (Maybe because I found out after a lifetime of being told she nursed my brother, that she in fact only breastfed him for 4 months, and maybe she's upset because she thinks this is a competition or something, and she's not winning?)
I give her credit for breastfeeding at all, when clearly she sees it as something that is unnecessary and just plain "silliness".

When I told her that I was still breastfeeding, she said, "When you were little I just did 'whatever', we didn't worry about things like you do now.  I guess I'm just not one of these new moms."

It's one of those things that could have just gone without saying.  Obviously she doesn't agree with 90% of the things I do, and was the total opposite kind of parent than I am with my kids.  I honestly could have lived happily without that comment...and the tone of her voice when she said "new moms" was kind of cynical.  She thinks her way was the right way, and as her child, and a parent of three, I can tell you that it was probably the best she could do considering the environment we lived in, and the childhood she had...but it was FAR from ideal.

This isn't a contest.  I'm not perfect.  I'm learning as I go too.  But the difference is that when I see a better way to do something, I can admit that the way I was doing it was NOT the best way...and then I change things; make them better.  I don't sit with the knowledge that I'm not doing things the best I can do them, and just leave it at that.

 Anyways, clearly it peeved me right off to get that call.  For the record, there's nothing she can tell me that will stop me from letting our daughter wean on her own time.  This isn't about being a new mom, or an old-school mom.  This is about what's doing what's best for my children.  Period.

The next fun time this holiday season was going to a meal with my husband's dad's side of the family.
The house they live in is big enough for a few people...you could probably comfortably fit a small family in there.  But when you have over a dozen adults, and 5 little ones running around, it gets a bit crowded.
We showed up at 5:30pm, just like we were told to.  When we got there, it was pretty clear that everyone else had been there for quite a while.  The food was cooking, and the aunts and uncles were drinking.
As soon as we got in there, Aunt Schoolteacher was sitting at the table (which had been moved into the livingroom), and didn't even say hello.  She just got this nasty look on her face as the kids ran past her to go and see Nana.
Whatever.  Fine.

The evening was pretty much typical for the most part.  But then, before the presents were opened, my husband and I took the kids down to the basement.  My husband's uncle...Aunt Schoolteacher's husband...came down and they were discussing our family Dr., and the events that have taken place in our lives the last month and a half.

My husband mentioned that we have chosen not to vaccinate our children, and suddenly Uncle changed his tone.  What was just a completely normal conversation then turned into "Why don't you vaccinate them?"  My husband told him that I've done a ton of research, and we've decided that we're not going to vaccinate them against diseases that can be prevented, treated, or that are completely safe for children to get in childhood.
"Well, I'd vaccinate them", he said.

He went on and on about how vaccines are "preventative", and that "children need to be vaccinated to be healthy".  He made sure to say atleast a dozen times that he'd vaccinate them.

I got up and left.  I'm not going to let anyone make me feel like I need to justify doing what's best for my children.  I've done years of research on this.  I'm sure Uncle has done NONE, and so his opinion means nothing to me.

I am glad I know his opinion on the whole thing, though.  I'm glad he was a dick about it, too.  I'm glad he made it so easy for me to decide whether or not he'd be a suitable guardian for my kids.  With those words, he went from being our #1 choice as a guardian in the event of our deaths, to being stricken from the list entirely.

Anyways, after opening presents we all went back upstairs for a bit before we ate.  My son had to pee, so went upstairs by himself and used the bathroom.  When he came out of the bathroom, his pants were at his ankles, twisted.  He needed some help fixing them, and because I was sitting on the couch nursing the little one, my husband went to help.

From behind me I hear, "You'll never pass kindergarten if you take your clothes off."  I turned around to see it had been said by Aunt Schoolteacher.
I wanted to punch her.  
He didn't "take his clothes off", he had problems with getting his pants back up!  He's only 3 1/2 years old...it happens!!!

But he hadn't heard her (he was still standing upstairs), so I let it go.  I took the higher ground...even though all I wanted to do was tell her to stfu.  We all ate, and everything was fine.

After supper everyone was talking, and the kids were still pretty excited about all the new things they'd just gotten for Christmas.  My son picked up a Thomas book that had a steering wheel on it (and about a dozen buttons that each make a noise), and ran to show Uncle Mustache [which is actually what the kids call him], across the table from Aunt Schoolteacher.  He sat for a few minutes, then got up and ran off.

At that moment, Aunt Schoolteacher said to him "You'll never pass kindergarten if you run around!"

At this point I was IRRITATED.  I SO badly wanted to say "have another glass of wine you DICK!"

My husband was sitting across from me in the livingroom, and I just looked at him and said "I think the kids need to go home and get ready for bed."

It took us about 1/2 an hour to get everyone situated, and the presents in the van before we started loading up the kids.  While my husband and the kids' Sweet Auntie (who is actually their 2nd cousin, but is a little older than my husband and I), packed up the van, Uncle picked up our daughters as Aunt Schoolteacher took pictures with them together.  Not one of those photos were of them with our son.  Not one.
Clear favoritism?  I think so!

If I needed a second reason to strike them from the list of potential emergency parents, that would be it.  They have no ability to understand my son, and have no interest in trying.  (He's amazing, and it's THEIR LOSS not to see that!)

Sweet Auntie came over to our house right after this lovely get-together, and mentioned to me that she noticed how her aunt (Schoolteacher) and uncle are with the kids.  She also mentioned that she noticed that her aunt will STILL not hold the baby.  (Just recently she was offered the baby to hold, and said, "You know how I feel about babies.  I like them when they're older and I can sit on the floor with them, but I don't like holding them.")  Wonderful quality in a person, eh?  Strike three.

**If there was anything good that happened at that gathering, it was that I spoke to my MIL's daughter...a nurse.  She told me that she doesn't believe in 90% of the vaccines they give children, and that the flu shot is a waste of time and money.  She is a wonderful peaceful parent, and it's always lovely to see her!  : )


The next day, after all of this fun, we had a family gathering at the King's Buffet across town. 
My twins were tired, and refused to nap before we went.  It's pretty common knowledge that they hate the food there, so I wasn't expecting them to eat.  When we showed up, their Other Auntie (who is actually a family friend) was there already with her fiancé.  Just the way they'd sat down, my son ended up on the end of the table, on the outside...I knew it was going to be bad the second I saw it.  The baby was at the very end, and I was across from him.  

It took him about 20 minutes to get entirely bored, and then he started sliding off of his seat (he was "melting", he said...LMFAO!), and getting up and walking over to the enormous fish tank about 10 feet from his seat.
The restaurant wasn't busy, and hell, he's 3 years old.  Who cares.  No one is going to lose a limb if the boy wants to look at the fish.  But his Other Auntie kept trying to go and drag him back...only to have him run right back over there.
So, after letting her struggle with him for a bit, I switched his seat for my seat, so he was kind of blocked in by the Fiancé and the baby's highchair.  That worked for a few minutes, but he REALLY wanted to look at those fish.  So I had him climb under the table and the two of us went and looked at the fish.

Now, what's crazy here was that some of the other adults at the table with us were kind of in shock that he wouldn't just "sit still and be quiet", and that I let him get up and go look at the fish.
It seems like they have forgotten what it's like to be a kid...full of wonder, full of questions, and full of energy.  Children have this ability to find the ONE fun thing in the room and want to be part of it.  I wasn't upset in the least bit.  It kind of makes me feel good to know that my children feel free to ACT like children.  He was fascinated by those fish, and who am I to say he couldn't look at them?!

By the time everyone else was ready to leave, I had all three kids with me, looking at those fish.  We named them (all of them got the name "Spotty"), and they left happy.  THAT is what matters.  I couldn't give a flying monkey's butt if the adults at that table liked it or not.  Kids are only kids for such a short time, and it's not like they were doing anything wrong.  They were looking at fish.  That's it.

We've also had a gathering here at our house, and were to another one at my husband's Aunt's house (he has a huge family), but nothing too exciting happened at those ones.

We still need to have our Christmas thing with my mom...it was supposed to be this coming weekend, but my husband has to work, so it'll be a few weeks from now.  I'm sure THAT one will get it's own post.  My mom's house is always "exciting"...to say the least.  Stay tuned.  ; )